It's my last day at work tomorrow, so I figured I had to bake a cake. And that's the one I chose.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Reason For Post Below
See for yourself.
It's my last day at work tomorrow, so I figured I had to bake a cake. And that's the one I chose.
It's my last day at work tomorrow, so I figured I had to bake a cake. And that's the one I chose.
Things I Always Wanted To Do When I Was A Kid, Yet Have Never Done Now That I'm Grown Up
Make a whole bowl of cookie/cake dough and eat it raw
Do you remember how as a kid (and even now) the best of making cookies or baking a cake was always when you could eat the rest of the raw dough from the bowl? As a kid I always thought that once I was old enough to do whatever I wanted I would just make a whole bowl of dough and just eat it.
Why do I never do that? It wouldn't even be expensive and I'd probably feel so sick afterwards that I'd be cured of that insane wish.
Ah, and don't tell me about salmonellae. Been there, had them, survived. So that trick doesn't do it for me.
Do you remember how as a kid (and even now) the best of making cookies or baking a cake was always when you could eat the rest of the raw dough from the bowl? As a kid I always thought that once I was old enough to do whatever I wanted I would just make a whole bowl of dough and just eat it.
Why do I never do that? It wouldn't even be expensive and I'd probably feel so sick afterwards that I'd be cured of that insane wish.
Ah, and don't tell me about salmonellae. Been there, had them, survived. So that trick doesn't do it for me.
Anime Weather
Snowflakes dancing outside the window while the sun is shining.
And we're going to Bonn to find a tenant who actually is willing to pay the rent.
If I had more time I would have made the first sentence a haiku. But we gotta run.
PS: What's anime weather? If somebody wants to know, I'll tell you. Tonight.
And we're going to Bonn to find a tenant who actually is willing to pay the rent.
If I had more time I would have made the first sentence a haiku. But we gotta run.
PS: What's anime weather? If somebody wants to know, I'll tell you. Tonight.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
The Pessimistic Optimist
Me: Well, I'm not that optimistic.
Andreas: Oh, come on, you're one of those glass-half-full types.
Me: Yeah, well, the glass is only half full.
Andreas: Oh, come on, you're one of those glass-half-full types.
Me: Yeah, well, the glass is only half full.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Those Moments When I'm Old
Every once in a while I read the blog of Caitlin's little cousin Justine who just started college and is away from home and on her own for the first time and it makes me remember the days when I, well, started to grow up.
It's a strange phase.
I think it's mostly the years between (approximately) 16 and 20 when you suddenly discover new things in your life. I started to read 'adult' books, went to see old black and white movies at the cinema or taped pretty much every independent movie they showed. I started to develop my taste in music and basically... yeah, I thought I was cool. In an intellectual way, but still. There was a time in life when watching 'Jules et Jim' and listening to Paula Cole and liking it made me an adult.
Except that it didn't.
Looking back I think that maybe it's also the time when we are most deceived by ourselves. The strange years between a sheltered home and our first well-paid job, when we think that we must be grown-up now because we are not children anymore, when we think that we know the world and most of all who we are.
Looking back on who I was then I knowingly smile at that girl who didn't have a clue about the world. But maybe that was the reason why she was so damn happy back then. She lived a lovely lie that didn't harm anyone, expecially since everyone around lived the same lovely 'I-go-to-university-therefore-I-am-grown-up' lie.
Looking in the mirror at who I am now I feel forever wise and forever stupid at the same time.
Forever wise because the last years were full of real life crap. Crap that I had to put up. Crap that made me miserable. Crap that made me angry at the world. Crap that made me cry. Crap that made me afraid. But, most of all, crap that made me strong and a tiny little bit wiser.
Forever stupid because I grow more aware of all the mistakes I have made and of all the things that I thought back then that turned out to be just wrong. Stupid also, because as I grow older I understand that there will always be more to not know than to know.
I remember an incident when I still lived in Bonn. I was sitting in the streetcar on my way to the station and there were a bunch of teenage kids sitting all around me, throwing things around. When one of the boys nearly hit me with whatever that was (nothing dangerous anyway) a girl shouted at him: 'You nearly hit the woman!'
I was only in my early twenties, but I was a woman to them. I was officially another generation. In other words: old.
It's a strange phase.
I think it's mostly the years between (approximately) 16 and 20 when you suddenly discover new things in your life. I started to read 'adult' books, went to see old black and white movies at the cinema or taped pretty much every independent movie they showed. I started to develop my taste in music and basically... yeah, I thought I was cool. In an intellectual way, but still. There was a time in life when watching 'Jules et Jim' and listening to Paula Cole and liking it made me an adult.
Except that it didn't.
Looking back I think that maybe it's also the time when we are most deceived by ourselves. The strange years between a sheltered home and our first well-paid job, when we think that we must be grown-up now because we are not children anymore, when we think that we know the world and most of all who we are.
Looking back on who I was then I knowingly smile at that girl who didn't have a clue about the world. But maybe that was the reason why she was so damn happy back then. She lived a lovely lie that didn't harm anyone, expecially since everyone around lived the same lovely 'I-go-to-university-therefore-I-am-grown-up' lie.
Looking in the mirror at who I am now I feel forever wise and forever stupid at the same time.
Forever wise because the last years were full of real life crap. Crap that I had to put up. Crap that made me miserable. Crap that made me angry at the world. Crap that made me cry. Crap that made me afraid. But, most of all, crap that made me strong and a tiny little bit wiser.
Forever stupid because I grow more aware of all the mistakes I have made and of all the things that I thought back then that turned out to be just wrong. Stupid also, because as I grow older I understand that there will always be more to not know than to know.
I remember an incident when I still lived in Bonn. I was sitting in the streetcar on my way to the station and there were a bunch of teenage kids sitting all around me, throwing things around. When one of the boys nearly hit me with whatever that was (nothing dangerous anyway) a girl shouted at him: 'You nearly hit the woman!'
I was only in my early twenties, but I was a woman to them. I was officially another generation. In other words: old.
Another Proof That I'm Oh-So-Smart
Yesterday I went shopping (without the boyfriend I might add) and I totally did NOT forget to buy q-tips and toilet paper. That just makes me incredibly smart, doesn't it?
No seriously, do you know that, too, when there's something in your household that you don't need to buy very often like toilet paper, toothpicks or salt for example and then when you run out of it you forget to buy it over and over and over again? Because it happens to me all the time.
I was short of salt for a couple of weeks because every damn time I was at the supermarket I forgot to buy some since I only need to buy a new package about twice a year or so. And you can't remember my happiness (and inner pride) when I finally managed to remember to buy some and I didn't have to be stingy with salt anymore.
Still I'm afraid that we might run out of matches soon.
No seriously, do you know that, too, when there's something in your household that you don't need to buy very often like toilet paper, toothpicks or salt for example and then when you run out of it you forget to buy it over and over and over again? Because it happens to me all the time.
I was short of salt for a couple of weeks because every damn time I was at the supermarket I forgot to buy some since I only need to buy a new package about twice a year or so. And you can't remember my happiness (and inner pride) when I finally managed to remember to buy some and I didn't have to be stingy with salt anymore.
Still I'm afraid that we might run out of matches soon.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Thursday Fun: The Case is Open
Are you comfortable? If not, make yourself so, please. There's no way you're not sitting comfortable and relaxed while enjoying the view into today's candidate shelf #2.
Here it comes. (Rolling drums. Applause.)
We do have a lot of video tapes. And most of them are mine. See the nice and accurate printed labels. Yeah, I did them. They were even in the right order when I still lived in Bonn, but when we unpacked them here we just stuck them in the shelves without caring for the right order. So I don't really like it when I need to find a particular movie.
Shelf #2 therefore has many twin brothers and sisters. They will all be featured in time. So stay tuned.
Here it comes. (Rolling drums. Applause.)
We do have a lot of video tapes. And most of them are mine. See the nice and accurate printed labels. Yeah, I did them. They were even in the right order when I still lived in Bonn, but when we unpacked them here we just stuck them in the shelves without caring for the right order. So I don't really like it when I need to find a particular movie.
Shelf #2 therefore has many twin brothers and sisters. They will all be featured in time. So stay tuned.
I Want To Send You All a Copy
Sometimes I wonder how I stumble upon new music, because I rarely listen to the radio and besides the music that I discover isn't on the playlists (at least I don't think, for how could I know for sure, since I don't listen to it).
However I do stumble upon wonderful new music once in a while and I'm so happy that I want to send you all a copy of Keren Ann's Not Going Anywhere.
But since the number on my bank account is still only three-digit, I don't think I can send you all a copy.
So you have to buy it yourself. And you have the warmestest(est) advice from me to so soon.
Keren Ann's homepage (in French, though)
However I do stumble upon wonderful new music once in a while and I'm so happy that I want to send you all a copy of Keren Ann's Not Going Anywhere.
But since the number on my bank account is still only three-digit, I don't think I can send you all a copy.
So you have to buy it yourself. And you have the warmestest(est) advice from me to so soon.
Keren Ann's homepage (in French, though)
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Have I Told You Lately?
Have I told you lately about my intense and deep admiration for Mr Randy Newman? The man is just great.
I have nothing more to add. I just wanted to share another fun fact about the strangeness that is me. There you got it: I adore Randy Newman.
I have nothing more to add. I just wanted to share another fun fact about the strangeness that is me. There you got it: I adore Randy Newman.
Dizzy-Headed Girl With a List
I can't wait for the time when I can have clear thoughts again and am not absorbed in what-ifs and how-will-it-bes and am-I-up-to-its.
My head feels so dizzy with all kinds of strange thoughts I haven't ever had before or at least not to this extent. I want a clear head. As soon as possible, if you please.
So far my feeble excuse for not writing that long and interesting blog entries the last few days.
But I have done this. That's my very not-accurate list of the books I've read. I do remember all of 2005, but the complete list of 2004 has escaped my porous memory and 2003 is mostly a compilation of my amazon orders and what I found in our bookcases. I hope it's incomplete, because I really should have read more.
You can always reach the list via the cute little blue button you see in the sidebar. The one that says WHAT I READ. Obviously.
And now I need to add 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' to the list while listening to Coralie Clement. I seem to surround myself with French things lately.
My head feels so dizzy with all kinds of strange thoughts I haven't ever had before or at least not to this extent. I want a clear head. As soon as possible, if you please.
So far my feeble excuse for not writing that long and interesting blog entries the last few days.
But I have done this. That's my very not-accurate list of the books I've read. I do remember all of 2005, but the complete list of 2004 has escaped my porous memory and 2003 is mostly a compilation of my amazon orders and what I found in our bookcases. I hope it's incomplete, because I really should have read more.
You can always reach the list via the cute little blue button you see in the sidebar. The one that says WHAT I READ. Obviously.
And now I need to add 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' to the list while listening to Coralie Clement. I seem to surround myself with French things lately.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Random Thoughts
If I ever have a serious nervous breakdown I'm going to be just like Monk.
Only dumber.
I wish I was kidding.
Only dumber.
I wish I was kidding.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Down Memory Lane: Friendship
The summer I was nine we were on vacation in (guess where) France. To be more precise, my mom, my aunt, my cousin, a friend of my cousin's and me were staying at a camping place close to Les Sables d'Olonne at the Atlantic coast.
One day we were making a day trip to some nearby salines. You could make guided boat trips through the salines and we got our tickets and waited in front of the little house for our boat to leave.
Waiting in front of the house, sitting on a little bench was a mother with her two daughters. They also were German, although I don't know exactly how we found out. I guess it was just the usual hearing your own language in a foreign country things that occasionally draws us tourists together.
One of the girls was my age the other one a little younger. When my mom tells the story of how Kathring and I met she always says: 'They didn't talk for a minute. Actually they pretty much only exchanged their addresses.'
That's half true. I got her address first. What made me do it? I have no idea, really. We didn't know each other, we really hadn't talked for more than a few minutes, but it was enough for me to decide to write her address down on a postcard that I had with me. With two bears on the front. I may still have it somewhere, Kathrin's address written in big girly handwriting.
Then our boats arrived. They were on another boat, one that left a little bit earlier but was in view all the time during the trip. I don't remember much of the actual salines. As far as I know it was pretty boring and not really worth the money. It was salt.
When we got back to solid ground Kathrin and her family was waiting for us. She had decided she wanted to get my address, too and write it down.
I even remember part of the dialogue. I was telling her the name of my street (which was a little strange, I admit) and she asked 'New word?'
'What?' I said.
'New word?'
I had no idea what she was talking about. Somehow I was wondering if she was asking me if that was a new word for her. Well how was I supposed to know?
She only wanted to know if the name of street was one long word or two separate ones, but it took me some time to figure that out.
Then we got back to our tents.
I received my first postcard from Kathrin shortly after we got home. They were staying in France longer than we were, and she wrote me a postcard from whereever they were.
It took us about five letters back and forth to find out that we were born on the same day. We are 19 hours and 51 minutes apart, born on the same day, Kathrin in early morning, I shortly after the evening news.
We both took piano lessons for year. We both started and stopped learning the clarinet. We both loved Disney comics.
Now, of course there are things that we don't have in common, but there are more things that we share. My father used to remark that we were together we could spend hours sitting in my room without talking. Both of us doing something separately, but none of us bored with the other.
Eventually and strangely enough I think it coincides with the coming up of email the frequent exchange of letters ceased a little. After high school, she went to Portugal for half a year, then she moved to Cologne because of university. I haven't seen her as often as I thought I might after she moved here, but then again it's really not the point.
There are those friends with whom it doesn't matter for how long you haven't seen them or even talked to them. Somewhen they ring you up and ask if you'd like to meet them and of course you do, and when you do it's like nothing has changed. Sure, your life has changed a bit and hers, too. But I haven't and she hasn't. Of all friendships these are the best. Because they make you feel safe.
Last summer she wrote a mail asking me if I would like to come with her to the Simon & Garfunkel reunion tour. Yes! I mean yes, yes, YES! She got the tickets and we shared that event together. Some weeks later I met her for Starbucks coffee and cake and a few weeks later she went off to Paris where she will be for another few months studying abroad.
I just recently got a long email from her, sent to all her friends, telling us about life in Paris.
Which reminds me. I gotta write her back.
One day we were making a day trip to some nearby salines. You could make guided boat trips through the salines and we got our tickets and waited in front of the little house for our boat to leave.
Waiting in front of the house, sitting on a little bench was a mother with her two daughters. They also were German, although I don't know exactly how we found out. I guess it was just the usual hearing your own language in a foreign country things that occasionally draws us tourists together.
One of the girls was my age the other one a little younger. When my mom tells the story of how Kathring and I met she always says: 'They didn't talk for a minute. Actually they pretty much only exchanged their addresses.'
That's half true. I got her address first. What made me do it? I have no idea, really. We didn't know each other, we really hadn't talked for more than a few minutes, but it was enough for me to decide to write her address down on a postcard that I had with me. With two bears on the front. I may still have it somewhere, Kathrin's address written in big girly handwriting.
Then our boats arrived. They were on another boat, one that left a little bit earlier but was in view all the time during the trip. I don't remember much of the actual salines. As far as I know it was pretty boring and not really worth the money. It was salt.
When we got back to solid ground Kathrin and her family was waiting for us. She had decided she wanted to get my address, too and write it down.
I even remember part of the dialogue. I was telling her the name of my street (which was a little strange, I admit) and she asked 'New word?'
'What?' I said.
'New word?'
I had no idea what she was talking about. Somehow I was wondering if she was asking me if that was a new word for her. Well how was I supposed to know?
She only wanted to know if the name of street was one long word or two separate ones, but it took me some time to figure that out.
Then we got back to our tents.
I received my first postcard from Kathrin shortly after we got home. They were staying in France longer than we were, and she wrote me a postcard from whereever they were.
It took us about five letters back and forth to find out that we were born on the same day. We are 19 hours and 51 minutes apart, born on the same day, Kathrin in early morning, I shortly after the evening news.
We both took piano lessons for year. We both started and stopped learning the clarinet. We both loved Disney comics.
Now, of course there are things that we don't have in common, but there are more things that we share. My father used to remark that we were together we could spend hours sitting in my room without talking. Both of us doing something separately, but none of us bored with the other.
Eventually and strangely enough I think it coincides with the coming up of email the frequent exchange of letters ceased a little. After high school, she went to Portugal for half a year, then she moved to Cologne because of university. I haven't seen her as often as I thought I might after she moved here, but then again it's really not the point.
There are those friends with whom it doesn't matter for how long you haven't seen them or even talked to them. Somewhen they ring you up and ask if you'd like to meet them and of course you do, and when you do it's like nothing has changed. Sure, your life has changed a bit and hers, too. But I haven't and she hasn't. Of all friendships these are the best. Because they make you feel safe.
Last summer she wrote a mail asking me if I would like to come with her to the Simon & Garfunkel reunion tour. Yes! I mean yes, yes, YES! She got the tickets and we shared that event together. Some weeks later I met her for Starbucks coffee and cake and a few weeks later she went off to Paris where she will be for another few months studying abroad.
I just recently got a long email from her, sent to all her friends, telling us about life in Paris.
Which reminds me. I gotta write her back.
Over the Rhine / Morning Wonders
The last days whenever my streetcar drove over the Rhine I looked very closely at the water level. It's high water time again.
Last week the water came close to the edge of the walls that keep the river in its course. There was about one meter between the water level and the riverside walk. From what I read a few camping grounds were flooded, but no major damage was done. I also read that according to forecasts the water level is going to lower again and Cologne's old town won't be flooded like it has been so many times.
Today I took another route to go to work. I got off the train a station earlier and took a different streetcar that goes over Mülheimer Brücke instead of Severinsbrücke. The riverside there isn't limited by concrete walls, but at least to the one side there are meadows stretching out. So I could still see that the Rhine has indeed risen a lot, since a lot of trees were halfway underwater. I wish I had my camera with me, so I could show you. It looks odd, strange, but also fascinating.
It reminds me of the time when we were living in Cologne and my school was really close to the Rhine. The one year when the water rose so high that a lot of people who lived close to the river had to move to the second floor of their houses because the water was flowing through the first floor I kind of hoped it would rise so high that the school had to be closed. That never happened. I still remember that year, though.
My grandfather remembers the year when it was so cold in winter that the Rhine froze over and you could go ice-skating on the river. Then again, my grandfather was born in 1911.
Last week the water came close to the edge of the walls that keep the river in its course. There was about one meter between the water level and the riverside walk. From what I read a few camping grounds were flooded, but no major damage was done. I also read that according to forecasts the water level is going to lower again and Cologne's old town won't be flooded like it has been so many times.
Today I took another route to go to work. I got off the train a station earlier and took a different streetcar that goes over Mülheimer Brücke instead of Severinsbrücke. The riverside there isn't limited by concrete walls, but at least to the one side there are meadows stretching out. So I could still see that the Rhine has indeed risen a lot, since a lot of trees were halfway underwater. I wish I had my camera with me, so I could show you. It looks odd, strange, but also fascinating.
It reminds me of the time when we were living in Cologne and my school was really close to the Rhine. The one year when the water rose so high that a lot of people who lived close to the river had to move to the second floor of their houses because the water was flowing through the first floor I kind of hoped it would rise so high that the school had to be closed. That never happened. I still remember that year, though.
My grandfather remembers the year when it was so cold in winter that the Rhine froze over and you could go ice-skating on the river. Then again, my grandfather was born in 1911.
Unconscious Mutterings - A More Cultural Approach
- Dirty work - Not me.
- Shopkeeper - Also. Not me.
- Goodness - 'Unless' by Carol Shields.
- Yearning - How the heart approaches what it yearns (Paul Simon). It's also a very nice word.
- Show and tell - Not so common in Germany.
- Trapped - Trapdoor. Basement. Dark.
- Malcolm - in the Middle.
- Season - Spring is my favorite. And it should be here soon.
- Bestseller - Not an indicator for quality.
- Desk - What I'm sitting at right now. Has to be tidy so I can work.
Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun... just click here.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
The Others: Just Listen
It's really late and I want to go to bed, but since I'm kind of addicted to my blog I won't let myself get away without doing the weekly introduction of one of my blogrolled blogs.
But because I'm a little bit tired and had a glass of wine I chose a blog that I think will not take me too long to make you visit (or not). I hope you DO visit the blogs I recommend, for one thing I try really hard to find the right words for each blog, and after all they ARE worth it. Believe me.
So, here's this evening's go-and-see-yourself blog Womenfolk:
The good thing about this blog is that it is really devoted to one subject, so it is (for once) quite easy for me to write about it. I don't even know who runs the blog, I just know it's a him and that he shares something with me: our love for female musicians. We really do have a similar taste in music, so I can be pretty sure that I will like if not love every new musician he introduces to me and hopefully to you, too.
It's an mp3-blog which means that the most recent entries provide downloadable mp3-files. Unfortunately the older entries don't feature mp3-files anymore, but you can still read about all the great artists and check out their websites or whatever else there is.
I highly recommend this blog to anyone interested in music in general and female musicians in particular (yes, Caitlin, I am looking at you, metaphorically speaking).
Just check it out and listen to some really good and at most times independent music. I've never been disappointed with that guy's taste in music.
Shoo. Go.
But because I'm a little bit tired and had a glass of wine I chose a blog that I think will not take me too long to make you visit (or not). I hope you DO visit the blogs I recommend, for one thing I try really hard to find the right words for each blog, and after all they ARE worth it. Believe me.
So, here's this evening's go-and-see-yourself blog Womenfolk:
The good thing about this blog is that it is really devoted to one subject, so it is (for once) quite easy for me to write about it. I don't even know who runs the blog, I just know it's a him and that he shares something with me: our love for female musicians. We really do have a similar taste in music, so I can be pretty sure that I will like if not love every new musician he introduces to me and hopefully to you, too.
It's an mp3-blog which means that the most recent entries provide downloadable mp3-files. Unfortunately the older entries don't feature mp3-files anymore, but you can still read about all the great artists and check out their websites or whatever else there is.
I highly recommend this blog to anyone interested in music in general and female musicians in particular (yes, Caitlin, I am looking at you, metaphorically speaking).
Just check it out and listen to some really good and at most times independent music. I've never been disappointed with that guy's taste in music.
Shoo. Go.
Word of Advice, Take a Nap
I felt crappy and unhappy all day long. I woke up with cramps and stomach aches that wouldn't go away, but only for short time periods and just to come back again when I just got comfortable.
Then I couldn't bring myself to do anything useful, so I just managed to write a few emails in response to your comments and then retreat to the livingroom to watch 'Wonderfalls'. I also finished 'Wicked' today, so I need a new book soon. What's the next one on my list...?
Then I did the wisest thing I possibly could have done and took a nap on the couch. Only I didn't know it was wise back then, I thought it was mostly a stupid lazy thing because I didn't know what else I could do.
The boyfriend woke me up, because my aunt had called and wanted to talk to me. She asked me about my results of my exams and about that new job I am taking and invited us for dinner in a few weeks. That actually cheered me up a lot, so when I hung up the day didn't feel so crappy anymore. I also didn't feel so sick anymore, so as far as I can tell the nap really WAS refreshing and helpful. I'm actually ready to go out for dinner tonight, despite my working on a clever strategy to avoid it the whole day (until I took a nap).
So, I'm refreshed and relaxed and actually kind of happy now. I hope the feeling stays a little longer.
Now, excuse me while I go change. I'm just wearing a cardigan that I seem to love so much that I share my food with it. Constantly. As much as I love it, I surely can't be seen in public wearing it.
Then I couldn't bring myself to do anything useful, so I just managed to write a few emails in response to your comments and then retreat to the livingroom to watch 'Wonderfalls'. I also finished 'Wicked' today, so I need a new book soon. What's the next one on my list...?
Then I did the wisest thing I possibly could have done and took a nap on the couch. Only I didn't know it was wise back then, I thought it was mostly a stupid lazy thing because I didn't know what else I could do.
The boyfriend woke me up, because my aunt had called and wanted to talk to me. She asked me about my results of my exams and about that new job I am taking and invited us for dinner in a few weeks. That actually cheered me up a lot, so when I hung up the day didn't feel so crappy anymore. I also didn't feel so sick anymore, so as far as I can tell the nap really WAS refreshing and helpful. I'm actually ready to go out for dinner tonight, despite my working on a clever strategy to avoid it the whole day (until I took a nap).
So, I'm refreshed and relaxed and actually kind of happy now. I hope the feeling stays a little longer.
Now, excuse me while I go change. I'm just wearing a cardigan that I seem to love so much that I share my food with it. Constantly. As much as I love it, I surely can't be seen in public wearing it.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Things To Keep You Occupied
Yesterday I fell asleep at 10 pm. This whole week has sucked all life out of me and it's all taking its toll on the weekend.
Yeah, so anyway, I am still too exhausted to write great blog entries.
I'll keep you occupied with new pictures instead. And, oh wonder, this time it's not about me but about the other one who lives here aka the boyfriend.
Here comes one of my recent favorites, just because it's amazingly cute AND features the weasel.
Now here's one I took today when he decided he needed a nap between reading his book. He looked so peaceful that I had to take a picture.
Also, here's what I got for Valentine's day.
So, I hope I have supplied you with enough material to marvel about for the next few minutes, as I have to do some important business and read 'Wicked'.
This book is just too good. No wonder I don't have time to blog. Or write emails. Or eat.
Yeah, so anyway, I am still too exhausted to write great blog entries.
I'll keep you occupied with new pictures instead. And, oh wonder, this time it's not about me but about the other one who lives here aka the boyfriend.
Here comes one of my recent favorites, just because it's amazingly cute AND features the weasel.
Now here's one I took today when he decided he needed a nap between reading his book. He looked so peaceful that I had to take a picture.
Also, here's what I got for Valentine's day.
So, I hope I have supplied you with enough material to marvel about for the next few minutes, as I have to do some important business and read 'Wicked'.
This book is just too good. No wonder I don't have time to blog. Or write emails. Or eat.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Milestone
I signed the new contract last evening.
I will drop it by the new company after work.
It feels strange. Not bad strange, just strange.
I will drop it by the new company after work.
It feels strange. Not bad strange, just strange.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Thursday Fun: The Case is Open
I decided to let you all have a look into our livingroom bookcases. One shelf a week. Go, make of it what you want. Or decide that it's just boring and get over it. I can't be pure wit, fun and perfection 24/7. Not even 17/7 which is about the time I am actually awake.
Now please marvel over shelf #1
Most of these books are the boyfriend's. Actually I think ALL of them are. And there's a burnt-down candle and all those now burnt-down scented candles Natascha gave me for my birthday. Aren't they cute? And they smelled great, too. I wish they would still sell them.
Tune in next week to see the fantastic shelf #2.
Now please marvel over shelf #1
Most of these books are the boyfriend's. Actually I think ALL of them are. And there's a burnt-down candle and all those now burnt-down scented candles Natascha gave me for my birthday. Aren't they cute? And they smelled great, too. I wish they would still sell them.
Tune in next week to see the fantastic shelf #2.
Oh Bliss, Pure Bliss!
When I said it was a pretty crappy day I forgot something that happened this morning. This will prove my ability to be joyful and giddy over small things and also my ability to make a total fuss about something totally unimportant. I don't really care.
At least I think that DeAnn will understand.
I turned on my computer at work and started my usual morning round checking out all the pages that might have interesting news for me.
One of them is serienjunkies.de, a German site with news about TV shows. While I was checking it out Andreas asked if I had seen the news on tvshowsondvd.com yet and his face literally lighted up.
So I immediately checked the site.
I saw the first news and I squealed.
Then I looked further and discovered the second news and squealed even louder. I squealed. In the office. With other people present. And even more people present behind that stupid room divider, but I don't know them so they don't really exist.
I squealed and cheered because they're releasing Earth 2 on DVD.
I'm so very happy, I can't tell you.
And no, I'm not ashamed because I can find bliss in the news that a TV show is released this year. If the rumors are true that is.
By the way, the first news that made me squeal was that they are also releasing Joan of Arcadia, supposedly in May.
So, the day after all wasn't a complete disaster.
At least I think that DeAnn will understand.
I turned on my computer at work and started my usual morning round checking out all the pages that might have interesting news for me.
One of them is serienjunkies.de, a German site with news about TV shows. While I was checking it out Andreas asked if I had seen the news on tvshowsondvd.com yet and his face literally lighted up.
So I immediately checked the site.
I saw the first news and I squealed.
Then I looked further and discovered the second news and squealed even louder. I squealed. In the office. With other people present. And even more people present behind that stupid room divider, but I don't know them so they don't really exist.
I squealed and cheered because they're releasing Earth 2 on DVD.
I'm so very happy, I can't tell you.
And no, I'm not ashamed because I can find bliss in the news that a TV show is released this year. If the rumors are true that is.
By the way, the first news that made me squeal was that they are also releasing Joan of Arcadia, supposedly in May.
So, the day after all wasn't a complete disaster.
Another Mind-Boggling Mystery
Why do people always come in exactly at that moment when I'm yawning. Everyone here must think that I'm incredibly tired and/or lazy, because they always see me yawning.
I tell you, it's a plot. Someone's plotting against me.
Or, it's because I'm yawning all the time and just occasionally other people are present.
I tell you, it's a plot. Someone's plotting against me.
Or, it's because I'm yawning all the time and just occasionally other people are present.
Just In Case
If you ever go to France, make sure you come here.
I love this village. And I can tell because I've been there.
PS: Today has been a somewhat crappy day, so I'm not in a blogging mood. So I'm trying to cheer myself up with images from France.
I love this village. And I can tell because I've been there.
PS: Today has been a somewhat crappy day, so I'm not in a blogging mood. So I'm trying to cheer myself up with images from France.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
My Language Skills are Scaring Me
I somehow landed on a computer/technology/whatever Spanish blog with a German title and without a lot of thinking I started reading. Now, I didn't get a lot and I'm not able to translate any of it, but if I am not totally mistaken I understand the gist.
That's scary. I never had a single lesson of Spanish in my whole life. I can understand a lot because I was close to fluent in French about a hundred years ago.
It's a little bit like reading Dutch. About ten years ago or so we were on vacation in France and we had rented a summer house which belonged to Dutch people, so they were some Dutch books lying around. In one of my pathetic attempts to prove everybody (and me in particular) how incredibly smart I am I started reading one of them. I made it through the whole book and understood most of it.
Now my Spanish reading skills aren't quite as good, but they certainly are better than they should be given my never learning it. Ever.
And by the way, yes, this is just another pathetic attempt to prove what an incredibly smart and clever girl I am.
That's scary. I never had a single lesson of Spanish in my whole life. I can understand a lot because I was close to fluent in French about a hundred years ago.
It's a little bit like reading Dutch. About ten years ago or so we were on vacation in France and we had rented a summer house which belonged to Dutch people, so they were some Dutch books lying around. In one of my pathetic attempts to prove everybody (and me in particular) how incredibly smart I am I started reading one of them. I made it through the whole book and understood most of it.
Now my Spanish reading skills aren't quite as good, but they certainly are better than they should be given my never learning it. Ever.
And by the way, yes, this is just another pathetic attempt to prove what an incredibly smart and clever girl I am.
Work in Progress
I know all (I repeat: ALL) state capitals now and most of the states' nicknames.
I'm a friggin' walking trivia machine.
And you can't say I didn't work today. Learning all these capitals was a hell of a lot of work.
I'm a friggin' walking trivia machine.
And you can't say I didn't work today. Learning all these capitals was a hell of a lot of work.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I Just Found and Lost a Cat
This is a story I think especially Jennifer will enjoy, or it will make her worry. Or a little bit of both.
For about three minutes I had a cat.
I had been hearing loud cat meowls for quite some time, but since the boyfriend and my cousin are musically active in the boyfriend's room and I was hearing music and our neighbor actually has a cat and the walls here are pretty thin I didn't think a lot about it.
When the meowls wouldn't stop I opened our apartment door and the second it was opened a cat ran it. That was so not what I expected would happen. It was a red cat with a white collar and judging from her weight she had owners who really cared about her. Also, although she wasn't exactly thrilled to see me she wouldn't bite or scratch me if I came. She walked through the apartment confused and meowled. It broke my heart.
Now, what the hell was I supposed to do?
Now one of the first things I thought was 'Wow, I have a cat. Can I keep it?' This comes naturally for me. I've been dog- and catless for too long.
The next thing I thought was 'What am I doing now?'
Since I'm a pretty clever girl I tried to have a look at her collar (not the white furry one, the brown leather thing). I hoped that the owner had been smart enough to attach a little address thing to it. He hadn't.
The thing is there are a lot of cats here. I swear I have seen that very cat two days ago running through the gardens. So I developed a plan. It was clear that the cat couldn't stay as much as would have loved it. The plan was to take the cat and bring it to the only people I could think of that might know who it belonged to. The original plan was to do so without the cat, but kitty didn't think so. Before I knew it she was out in hallway again and I 'decided' to take her with me.
Now, I have to say that I don't know these people I planned to ask. I have only seen them from our balcony so at best I can say that I have a vague idea where they live. But I also thought that even if they weren't there or couldn't tell me who that cat belonged to, I could let the cat go in their garden, since I have seen her there before, so she should know her way around from there.
She would let me carry her, so I thought that would be a good sign. It was until we came to the next corner where she struggled and I couldn't hold her any longer. She ran away and vanished behind a parked car. I stayed for quite a while and tried to make her come to me or at least see where she was, but I wasn't lucky.
I still tried to find the people I had planned to ask and I did eventually find the entrance to their house, but they weren't home.
Now the one thing is that I'm still a little worried because I don't know anything about that cat and where she came from, so I can't be sure whether she is okay now. On the other hand I know that cats usually find their way around and it's not like she ran away and vanished far from where I wanted bring her anyway. So despite my worries I am pretty sure she'll be okay.
Also I would like to say something to all cat owner's: If you can, please attach one of those little thingies for your address to your cat's collar. Even if you don't think you need it, because your cat knows its way around or you're used to your cat not always coming home during the night, there are people like me who do actually care. We worry. And we don't know where you live. So we might go to troubles. Just because of you.
So, you know, next time... I'm keeping the cat.
For about three minutes I had a cat.
I had been hearing loud cat meowls for quite some time, but since the boyfriend and my cousin are musically active in the boyfriend's room and I was hearing music and our neighbor actually has a cat and the walls here are pretty thin I didn't think a lot about it.
When the meowls wouldn't stop I opened our apartment door and the second it was opened a cat ran it. That was so not what I expected would happen. It was a red cat with a white collar and judging from her weight she had owners who really cared about her. Also, although she wasn't exactly thrilled to see me she wouldn't bite or scratch me if I came. She walked through the apartment confused and meowled. It broke my heart.
Now, what the hell was I supposed to do?
Now one of the first things I thought was 'Wow, I have a cat. Can I keep it?' This comes naturally for me. I've been dog- and catless for too long.
The next thing I thought was 'What am I doing now?'
Since I'm a pretty clever girl I tried to have a look at her collar (not the white furry one, the brown leather thing). I hoped that the owner had been smart enough to attach a little address thing to it. He hadn't.
The thing is there are a lot of cats here. I swear I have seen that very cat two days ago running through the gardens. So I developed a plan. It was clear that the cat couldn't stay as much as would have loved it. The plan was to take the cat and bring it to the only people I could think of that might know who it belonged to. The original plan was to do so without the cat, but kitty didn't think so. Before I knew it she was out in hallway again and I 'decided' to take her with me.
Now, I have to say that I don't know these people I planned to ask. I have only seen them from our balcony so at best I can say that I have a vague idea where they live. But I also thought that even if they weren't there or couldn't tell me who that cat belonged to, I could let the cat go in their garden, since I have seen her there before, so she should know her way around from there.
She would let me carry her, so I thought that would be a good sign. It was until we came to the next corner where she struggled and I couldn't hold her any longer. She ran away and vanished behind a parked car. I stayed for quite a while and tried to make her come to me or at least see where she was, but I wasn't lucky.
I still tried to find the people I had planned to ask and I did eventually find the entrance to their house, but they weren't home.
Now the one thing is that I'm still a little worried because I don't know anything about that cat and where she came from, so I can't be sure whether she is okay now. On the other hand I know that cats usually find their way around and it's not like she ran away and vanished far from where I wanted bring her anyway. So despite my worries I am pretty sure she'll be okay.
Also I would like to say something to all cat owner's: If you can, please attach one of those little thingies for your address to your cat's collar. Even if you don't think you need it, because your cat knows its way around or you're used to your cat not always coming home during the night, there are people like me who do actually care. We worry. And we don't know where you live. So we might go to troubles. Just because of you.
So, you know, next time... I'm keeping the cat.
Note To Employer
Just because I've been playing online games for the last hour and am now able to identify every single state of the US does NOT mean that I don't have any work to do.
Oh, wait, it means exactly that.
Did you notice that Colorado and Wyoming are the only states that are completely rectangular?
While we're at it, the capital of Kansas is Topeka and the capital of Idaho is Boise.
I just want to share my newly acquired wisdom with you.
Now I'm going to memorize the state nicknames.
Oh, wait, it means exactly that.
Did you notice that Colorado and Wyoming are the only states that are completely rectangular?
While we're at it, the capital of Kansas is Topeka and the capital of Idaho is Boise.
I just want to share my newly acquired wisdom with you.
Now I'm going to memorize the state nicknames.
Deciding (Or Not So Much)
I'm sitting at my desk, staring blankly into space and contemplating. I need to get out of here. These thoughts are giving me a headache.
Something happens and I'm like 'Oh yeah, I remember I hate this company. I can't wait to leave.'
Just now the girl at the next desk is talking on the phone and I realize I actually like her and most of the other people that I'm currently working with (I just moved to the 9th floor to work with a team I have worked with during my training). That's when I think 'Well, it's not so bad here. And they do pay better. Plus, they sell cake in this building.'
I need something big to happen. Like someone yelling at me for something I haven't done. Then I'd be out of here.
Something happens and I'm like 'Oh yeah, I remember I hate this company. I can't wait to leave.'
Just now the girl at the next desk is talking on the phone and I realize I actually like her and most of the other people that I'm currently working with (I just moved to the 9th floor to work with a team I have worked with during my training). That's when I think 'Well, it's not so bad here. And they do pay better. Plus, they sell cake in this building.'
I need something big to happen. Like someone yelling at me for something I haven't done. Then I'd be out of here.
Something Good Makes Me Feel So Bad
I'd never have thought that this whole job-decision thing would make me feel so bad. It's making me sick, really, and half of the time I feel like I can't breathe.
It's not that I don't know how lucky I am, because I do. And I'm thankful for that, but it doesn't make the hard part go away.
I'm just so fucking scared that whatever I will decide would be the wrong thing. I can either take the job here and always wonder what it would've been like if for once in my life I'd taken a risk with a prospect of getting a job I might actually like. Or I could take the new job and be fired after a few month which would leave me with no job at all and therefore no money. The problem is I just don't know.
Should I be fearless or should I be wise? Should I be selfish or not? What am I supposed to do?
PS: Sorry for the whining. I just can't help it these days. I honestly cried yesterday because I felt so thrown back to where I started. I thought everything was sure and I knew what to do and then everything changed again and I was back in the choosing game.
PPS: If you don't want to read any of my whiny job decision entries anymore, please do. I totally understand.
It's not that I don't know how lucky I am, because I do. And I'm thankful for that, but it doesn't make the hard part go away.
I'm just so fucking scared that whatever I will decide would be the wrong thing. I can either take the job here and always wonder what it would've been like if for once in my life I'd taken a risk with a prospect of getting a job I might actually like. Or I could take the new job and be fired after a few month which would leave me with no job at all and therefore no money. The problem is I just don't know.
Should I be fearless or should I be wise? Should I be selfish or not? What am I supposed to do?
PS: Sorry for the whining. I just can't help it these days. I honestly cried yesterday because I felt so thrown back to where I started. I thought everything was sure and I knew what to do and then everything changed again and I was back in the choosing game.
PPS: If you don't want to read any of my whiny job decision entries anymore, please do. I totally understand.
Monday, February 14, 2005
The Music In My Kitchen (Part II)
So, pismire tagged me, too. Am I that interesting?
We agreed that I would only do the last-song-heard and three-people-to-pass-it-on since, as you may have guessed, answers to 1, 2 and 4 would be pretty much the same.
But then I discovered that Caitlin chose to do her music meme a little bit differently. For example she decided to add her five most favorite lyrics and that's what I'm gonna do, too, so you'll get a little bit more to read.
What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
That's Just The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby. It's in my Smallville Collected folder and I was listening to random songs from that folder at work.
The first 5 best lyrics that come into my head (this one Caitlin came up with)
1. 'You don't feel you could love me / But I feel you could' Paul Simon, Gumboots. I always thought that it was a perfect thing to say to someone who wasn't in love with you when you were with them.
2. 'I won't accept at this stage anything that isn't all I want' Katell Keineg, Hestia. Just very powerful words. I wait for the day when I can say them.
3. 'And that's when you knew the world can't be saved, only discovered.' Dar Williams, Arrival. I love the strange mixture of hope and surrender that lies in these words.
4. 'I can't believe I paid for this / There's nothing here I need' Stina Nordenstam, From Cayman Islands With Love. These words alone make the song one of the best. I don't even know what it is I love about them, I just do.
5. 'When I tell him I want to die / That January boy laughs and says / OK snow-queen / Here's a match / Why don't you try...' Michelle Lewis, January's Child. I love that record and pretty much every song on it, but January's Child is one of my very favorites and so are its lyrics.
Who are you going to pass this stick to (three persons) and why?
Okay, for this round I'm going to make it Sarcomical, Jennifer W.K. and srah. I'm always interested in other people's taste in music.
We agreed that I would only do the last-song-heard and three-people-to-pass-it-on since, as you may have guessed, answers to 1, 2 and 4 would be pretty much the same.
But then I discovered that Caitlin chose to do her music meme a little bit differently. For example she decided to add her five most favorite lyrics and that's what I'm gonna do, too, so you'll get a little bit more to read.
What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
That's Just The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby. It's in my Smallville Collected folder and I was listening to random songs from that folder at work.
The first 5 best lyrics that come into my head (this one Caitlin came up with)
1. 'You don't feel you could love me / But I feel you could' Paul Simon, Gumboots. I always thought that it was a perfect thing to say to someone who wasn't in love with you when you were with them.
2. 'I won't accept at this stage anything that isn't all I want' Katell Keineg, Hestia. Just very powerful words. I wait for the day when I can say them.
3. 'And that's when you knew the world can't be saved, only discovered.' Dar Williams, Arrival. I love the strange mixture of hope and surrender that lies in these words.
4. 'I can't believe I paid for this / There's nothing here I need' Stina Nordenstam, From Cayman Islands With Love. These words alone make the song one of the best. I don't even know what it is I love about them, I just do.
5. 'When I tell him I want to die / That January boy laughs and says / OK snow-queen / Here's a match / Why don't you try...' Michelle Lewis, January's Child. I love that record and pretty much every song on it, but January's Child is one of my very favorites and so are its lyrics.
Who are you going to pass this stick to (three persons) and why?
Okay, for this round I'm going to make it Sarcomical, Jennifer W.K. and srah. I'm always interested in other people's taste in music.
Two Options Is One Too Many
Can you please make this any harder for me?
I know that I shouldn't complain at all, because in this country having one job is considered being lucky these days. Being able to choose between two jobs is something a lot of people would kill for. Or at least do something really embarrassing on TV.
I just got the news that the managers said that Andreas and I can get a job here for one of the projects until 2007. That's more than two fucking years.
The guy from the other company said that they'd send me the contract on Monday, so if nothing goes wrong I will have it tomorrow.
What am I supposed to do?
At the moment I don't feel like I can make a decision at all. Then again and as my faithful blog readers know, I think that I already made my decision. Somehow I hoped that they would turn me down at this company and therefore my decision would be an easy one.
They didn't do that. Supposedly the contracts here will be ready on Wednesday or Thursday. So I guess I might be able to compare both contracts and then choose the job I want to take all along.
This whole thing once again shows that I am a bad decision maker. I seem to see too many pros and cons to be able to really decide for something just based on the facts.
I know that I shouldn't complain at all, because in this country having one job is considered being lucky these days. Being able to choose between two jobs is something a lot of people would kill for. Or at least do something really embarrassing on TV.
I just got the news that the managers said that Andreas and I can get a job here for one of the projects until 2007. That's more than two fucking years.
The guy from the other company said that they'd send me the contract on Monday, so if nothing goes wrong I will have it tomorrow.
What am I supposed to do?
At the moment I don't feel like I can make a decision at all. Then again and as my faithful blog readers know, I think that I already made my decision. Somehow I hoped that they would turn me down at this company and therefore my decision would be an easy one.
They didn't do that. Supposedly the contracts here will be ready on Wednesday or Thursday. So I guess I might be able to compare both contracts and then choose the job I want to take all along.
This whole thing once again shows that I am a bad decision maker. I seem to see too many pros and cons to be able to really decide for something just based on the facts.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Hello World and Thanks For All The Food
Someday I'll start a game where you have to find out how many musical and literary references I have actually come up with for my post titles. It must be close to a dozen now.
Anyway, what I really wanted to tell you is that I love globalization. Yes. Because of the food.
Suddenly all these things that I couldn't get enough of when I was on vacation somewhere are available here. Sometimes at my very own and nearby supermarket.
If I had a top ten list of things I always missed and now can easily buy here, this would be the top three:
1. Ben & Jerry's ice-cream (memories of the US)
Somehow it's always my birthday when something B&J related happens. In 2002 I was at a bagel shop in Cologne and saw that they were finally selling B&J in Germany. Last year it was on my birthday that I learned that they are selling it at a videoshop which is like 5 minutes from where I live and open until 10 pm. Can you say happy? Yes, I was.
2. Orangina (memories of France)
I always loved Orangina dearly. That's like the world's best lemonade ever. It has pulp. It's great. And, until recently, only sold in tiny 0,2 liter bottles. Now, guess what I bought Saturday: Orangina in a bottle that holds 1 liter. I was so darn happy.
3. Salt & Vinegar Chips (memories of England)
Okay, now I love chips. I know it's not good for my body, but I can't help it. When I first tasted Salt & Vinegar Chips in England I thought these people were crazy. I had to taste one more to declare them my favorites. Imagine my joy when they started to sell them here. But they're still somewhat hard to get. At least they do not sell them in all the nearby supermarkets. Duh.
What I still can't get are fresh and still hot Belgian Waffles. That's one reason to take the occasional trip to Liège. Ah, how I love those.
And they also don't have Dutch Vanille Vla.
On a side note this is one of the moments when I realize how great it is to live in Europe and be able to get to about five different countries in less than five hours. I can still be amazed though. I remember one of the times when we stayed at the boyfriend's parents' place for a couple of days and they said: 'Hey, let's drive to the Netherlands and buy asparagus.'
And we did. We drove to the Netherlands to buy asparagus. It took about 15 minutes. You can still color me stunned.
Anyway, what I really wanted to tell you is that I love globalization. Yes. Because of the food.
Suddenly all these things that I couldn't get enough of when I was on vacation somewhere are available here. Sometimes at my very own and nearby supermarket.
If I had a top ten list of things I always missed and now can easily buy here, this would be the top three:
1. Ben & Jerry's ice-cream (memories of the US)
Somehow it's always my birthday when something B&J related happens. In 2002 I was at a bagel shop in Cologne and saw that they were finally selling B&J in Germany. Last year it was on my birthday that I learned that they are selling it at a videoshop which is like 5 minutes from where I live and open until 10 pm. Can you say happy? Yes, I was.
2. Orangina (memories of France)
I always loved Orangina dearly. That's like the world's best lemonade ever. It has pulp. It's great. And, until recently, only sold in tiny 0,2 liter bottles. Now, guess what I bought Saturday: Orangina in a bottle that holds 1 liter. I was so darn happy.
3. Salt & Vinegar Chips (memories of England)
Okay, now I love chips. I know it's not good for my body, but I can't help it. When I first tasted Salt & Vinegar Chips in England I thought these people were crazy. I had to taste one more to declare them my favorites. Imagine my joy when they started to sell them here. But they're still somewhat hard to get. At least they do not sell them in all the nearby supermarkets. Duh.
What I still can't get are fresh and still hot Belgian Waffles. That's one reason to take the occasional trip to Liège. Ah, how I love those.
And they also don't have Dutch Vanille Vla.
On a side note this is one of the moments when I realize how great it is to live in Europe and be able to get to about five different countries in less than five hours. I can still be amazed though. I remember one of the times when we stayed at the boyfriend's parents' place for a couple of days and they said: 'Hey, let's drive to the Netherlands and buy asparagus.'
And we did. We drove to the Netherlands to buy asparagus. It took about 15 minutes. You can still color me stunned.
The Others: Raising Beebs
I'm trying to make the Jamie-introduces-you-to thing a weekly feature, most likely to happen on Sunday.
Today I would like to send all of you to Melissa of Ordinary Morning.
I discovered Melissa's blog because of the BoB Awards. She was nominated for best overall blog and I was trying my best to vote and so saw it as my duty to at least take a look at each blog so I'd be able to vote with a good conscience.
I decided that I would not have any problems with conscience and karma or whatever there is if I would vote for Melissa. Also, she threatened her readers with going to hell, if they didn't vote for her. So I did. And kept reading her blog.
Melissa is a young single mom and has one of the cutest kids I have ever seen on a blog. Or in real life for that matter. But Melissa is also one of the funniest people I have ever seen on the web. The way she writes about her joys and troubles of raising her child alone nearly always makes me either giggle or laugh.
You can read for yourself here, here or here. Or, yeah, most any other entry she has written.
I would also like you to do as I did and write an entry for the scrapbook she makes for her son.
Unfortunately you can't leave any comments on her site, at least not that I know of. If there's a comment feature that I somehow didn't see, please tell me. But you can still send her an email to tell her that 'Jamie sent me because she thinks your blog is fucking awesome'.
Or I just realized that I could do that myself.
You still have to go there, though.
Today I would like to send all of you to Melissa of Ordinary Morning.
I discovered Melissa's blog because of the BoB Awards. She was nominated for best overall blog and I was trying my best to vote and so saw it as my duty to at least take a look at each blog so I'd be able to vote with a good conscience.
I decided that I would not have any problems with conscience and karma or whatever there is if I would vote for Melissa. Also, she threatened her readers with going to hell, if they didn't vote for her. So I did. And kept reading her blog.
Melissa is a young single mom and has one of the cutest kids I have ever seen on a blog. Or in real life for that matter. But Melissa is also one of the funniest people I have ever seen on the web. The way she writes about her joys and troubles of raising her child alone nearly always makes me either giggle or laugh.
You can read for yourself here, here or here. Or, yeah, most any other entry she has written.
I would also like you to do as I did and write an entry for the scrapbook she makes for her son.
Unfortunately you can't leave any comments on her site, at least not that I know of. If there's a comment feature that I somehow didn't see, please tell me. But you can still send her an email to tell her that 'Jamie sent me because she thinks your blog is fucking awesome'.
Or I just realized that I could do that myself.
You still have to go there, though.
Unconscious Mutterings - Easy-Peasy
- Judge - Court
- Detroit - Michigan. Is Detroit in Michigan? I bet not.
- Hyphen - It's a strange word for a simple thing.
- Get it right - Yes, please.
- Pulsating - My veins. Only you can't always feel it. Really.
- Yoga - Never tried it. Is it good?
- Memorable - A lot of things.
- Financial advisor - Man, do I need one.
- Ten million - Euros? A lot of zeroes in any case.
- I - Me. It's always me, me, ME!
Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun... just click here.
Snow Come Down
These are the most amazing snowflakes I've seen in a very long time.
Imagine me sitting at my desk and being happy just looking out of the window.
Update: Now the snow is gone. So I'm back to longing for spring.
Imagine me sitting at my desk and being happy just looking out of the window.
Update: Now the snow is gone. So I'm back to longing for spring.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Commercial Mysteries
There was this one TV commercial I never understood. They said that with their new detergent you could save time and hence have more time for whatever there is you want to do because your laundry would be done sooner.
Now, here's the question: Why would I save time because my laundry is done sooner?
I don't know about other people but once I push the on-button on my washing machine I can do pretty much anything I want to, because honestly... I don't watch my washing machine while it is doing its work. If it's done in two hours I have two hours completely at my disposal. If it's done in three hours I have three hours.
I heard that you were always supposed to stay at home while your washing machine is running, just in case something breaks and turns your apartment into a swimming-pool, so I never do anything that involves staying away from home too long, but then again I actually have gone grocery shopping while my washing machine was running, so what's the matter?
I don't save any time just because my laundry is done faster. I don't even really care how long it takes, I only care if I have to coordinate doing the laundry with cooking, because we can't have both the washing machine and the stove running, at least if we like our cables unburned and therefore the risk of our kitchen bursting into flames at a minimum.
If anyone knows better, please illuminate me, but I think it's one of those commercial things, where they try to convince me with a pretty good argument, which really isn't a good argument at all. It's not even a real argument.
It's just... I mean...
Saving time just sounds so good.
I think I'm gonna buy that frickin' detergent.
Now, here's the question: Why would I save time because my laundry is done sooner?
I don't know about other people but once I push the on-button on my washing machine I can do pretty much anything I want to, because honestly... I don't watch my washing machine while it is doing its work. If it's done in two hours I have two hours completely at my disposal. If it's done in three hours I have three hours.
I heard that you were always supposed to stay at home while your washing machine is running, just in case something breaks and turns your apartment into a swimming-pool, so I never do anything that involves staying away from home too long, but then again I actually have gone grocery shopping while my washing machine was running, so what's the matter?
I don't save any time just because my laundry is done faster. I don't even really care how long it takes, I only care if I have to coordinate doing the laundry with cooking, because we can't have both the washing machine and the stove running, at least if we like our cables unburned and therefore the risk of our kitchen bursting into flames at a minimum.
If anyone knows better, please illuminate me, but I think it's one of those commercial things, where they try to convince me with a pretty good argument, which really isn't a good argument at all. It's not even a real argument.
It's just... I mean...
Saving time just sounds so good.
I think I'm gonna buy that frickin' detergent.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Down Memory Lane: An Introduction
With 'Down Memory Lane' I decided to write entries about my memories, my past. This series (if you can call it that) will deal with special and not-so-special incidents that somehow might help you putting together the pieces of the puzzle that it is me.
I have no plans yet what I am going to write about. I'm not sure at all if my last 24 years provide enough interesting material to write about and not bore you to death.
The first entry dealing with the death of my grandmother was something I've had in mind and wanted to write about for some time now. It maybe was the most important entry, at least to me, I've written so far.
I'll revisit my past and see what interesting tidbits of my so-called life there are to tell you about it. In any case it's always a trip worth taking and I'd be happy to take you on it with me.
I have no plans yet what I am going to write about. I'm not sure at all if my last 24 years provide enough interesting material to write about and not bore you to death.
The first entry dealing with the death of my grandmother was something I've had in mind and wanted to write about for some time now. It maybe was the most important entry, at least to me, I've written so far.
I'll revisit my past and see what interesting tidbits of my so-called life there are to tell you about it. In any case it's always a trip worth taking and I'd be happy to take you on it with me.
Music Meme Brought Here By Cecilia
Cecilia tagged me. I'm flattered because she chose me (or, as she would say, me-moi-me), so I won't let her wait too long to see what she got herself into.
1. Total amount of music files on your computer:
The folder I have nearly all my mp3 files in contains 1288 files. But I'm not sure if they are all music files and I'm also not sure if I have some files in some other folder. Let's just say: a lot.
2. The last CD you bought was:
Pink Martini 'Hang on Little Tomato', but that was a present for the boyfriend. The last CD I ordered at amazon was Jack Johnson 'Brushfire Fairytales'.
3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
'Stranded in a Limousine' by Paul Simon
4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
First I would like to say that I don't usually attach specific memories to specific songs. There are usually just songs that I really really love and that makes them special to me. Nevertheless I will tell you those songs that have a story.
Have a Good Time by Paul Simon
My parents told me that when I was a toddler and couldn't even walk I would start laughing my baby-ass off at the end with the saxophone solo. I would laugh so hard that I would actually (and literally) fall over. I think it's a very cute story and I still love that song a lot.
The One That I've Been Waiting For, (Are You) by Nick Cave
The first song the boyfriend sent me. It was shortly after the Paris trip and he sent me that song as an email attachment. I think that and the title of the song says it all.
Everyday I Write The Book by Elvis Costello
If I ever need to choose a wedding song, that would be it. Some may think that the lyrics aren't really appropriate for the occasion, but I think they are perfect.
Smile by Katell Keineg
I just love that song. Nothing more, nothing less.
Little Star by Stina Nordenstam
See above. This is an amazing song and I am so happy that I found it.
5. Who are you going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?
I am passing it to Willful Exposé, Rory and Brandon. There are several others I would like to pass it to, so anyone who feels like it, please do it nevertheless. I just got to pick three people is all.
1. Total amount of music files on your computer:
The folder I have nearly all my mp3 files in contains 1288 files. But I'm not sure if they are all music files and I'm also not sure if I have some files in some other folder. Let's just say: a lot.
2. The last CD you bought was:
Pink Martini 'Hang on Little Tomato', but that was a present for the boyfriend. The last CD I ordered at amazon was Jack Johnson 'Brushfire Fairytales'.
3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
'Stranded in a Limousine' by Paul Simon
4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
First I would like to say that I don't usually attach specific memories to specific songs. There are usually just songs that I really really love and that makes them special to me. Nevertheless I will tell you those songs that have a story.
Have a Good Time by Paul Simon
My parents told me that when I was a toddler and couldn't even walk I would start laughing my baby-ass off at the end with the saxophone solo. I would laugh so hard that I would actually (and literally) fall over. I think it's a very cute story and I still love that song a lot.
The One That I've Been Waiting For, (Are You) by Nick Cave
The first song the boyfriend sent me. It was shortly after the Paris trip and he sent me that song as an email attachment. I think that and the title of the song says it all.
Everyday I Write The Book by Elvis Costello
If I ever need to choose a wedding song, that would be it. Some may think that the lyrics aren't really appropriate for the occasion, but I think they are perfect.
Smile by Katell Keineg
I just love that song. Nothing more, nothing less.
Little Star by Stina Nordenstam
See above. This is an amazing song and I am so happy that I found it.
5. Who are you going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?
I am passing it to Willful Exposé, Rory and Brandon. There are several others I would like to pass it to, so anyone who feels like it, please do it nevertheless. I just got to pick three people is all.
While We're At It
I just read an excerpt of the first Noisy Village book at amazon.com and I want to make something clear:
Karl = Lasse
Bill = Bosse
Olaf = Ole
Anna = Inga
Why did they change the names anyway? They didn't do that in the German translation, and I have to say I'm very happy for that.
They did change the name of Emil to Michel, though. But that was because there already was a famous children's books character named Emil and they were afraid that people would confuse the books.
And with that, today's lesson in Children's Literature and What Jamie Thinks About It is over.
Karl = Lasse
Bill = Bosse
Olaf = Ole
Anna = Inga
Why did they change the names anyway? They didn't do that in the German translation, and I have to say I'm very happy for that.
They did change the name of Emil to Michel, though. But that was because there already was a famous children's books character named Emil and they were afraid that people would confuse the books.
And with that, today's lesson in Children's Literature and What Jamie Thinks About It is over.
It's Not Always a Matter of Taste
There are some things that I think there should be no disagreement on.
Like 'Veronica Mars is a great show'. For example.
Or 'Sushi is great'. But I won't mind so much if you disagree on that, because in the end it means more sushi for me.
Now, the boyfriend after all didn't have quite the fantastic summers-spent-doing-nothing childhood I had. He didn't have a sucky childhood, but being a preacher's son and thus growing up in a very religious family has its disadvantages. So I'm told.
Not-so-fun-facts are that he went to the movies the first time when he was sixteen to watch 'Once Upon A Time In America', if you don't count the one time he was allowed to go the movies as a kid to see 'The Rescuers' at somebody else's birthday party.
That said he wasn't exactly overwhelmed with children's books the way that I was. So I understand that there will always be some differences due to our very different upbringing.
What I don't understand is that up to this day and despite my repeated tries to make him see the truth, he still thinks that Astrid Lindgren's 'Karlson on the Roof' is a great book. Which it is not. Because the boy, Karlson, sucks. He's fat, noisy, has a stupid propeller on his back and above all is a selfish little brat. There's nothing nice about this kid. Nada. Rien. Nichts und wieder nichts.
You can take pretty much any other book that she's written (and I have read a lot of them) and they're better, mostly because the characters are actually agreeable up to the point of being nice, charming and making you wish you were them.
My very favorites are the 'Noisy Village' books, but I would say that we can disagree on that as long as you're not trying to bring Karlson back into the favorites-game.
But the boyfriend won't be convinced. I've tried hard and often, but he just won't see. I love him nonetheless, but I fear we'll always have this subject to disagree on.
Like 'Veronica Mars is a great show'. For example.
Or 'Sushi is great'. But I won't mind so much if you disagree on that, because in the end it means more sushi for me.
Now, the boyfriend after all didn't have quite the fantastic summers-spent-doing-nothing childhood I had. He didn't have a sucky childhood, but being a preacher's son and thus growing up in a very religious family has its disadvantages. So I'm told.
Not-so-fun-facts are that he went to the movies the first time when he was sixteen to watch 'Once Upon A Time In America', if you don't count the one time he was allowed to go the movies as a kid to see 'The Rescuers' at somebody else's birthday party.
That said he wasn't exactly overwhelmed with children's books the way that I was. So I understand that there will always be some differences due to our very different upbringing.
What I don't understand is that up to this day and despite my repeated tries to make him see the truth, he still thinks that Astrid Lindgren's 'Karlson on the Roof' is a great book. Which it is not. Because the boy, Karlson, sucks. He's fat, noisy, has a stupid propeller on his back and above all is a selfish little brat. There's nothing nice about this kid. Nada. Rien. Nichts und wieder nichts.
You can take pretty much any other book that she's written (and I have read a lot of them) and they're better, mostly because the characters are actually agreeable up to the point of being nice, charming and making you wish you were them.
My very favorites are the 'Noisy Village' books, but I would say that we can disagree on that as long as you're not trying to bring Karlson back into the favorites-game.
But the boyfriend won't be convinced. I've tried hard and often, but he just won't see. I love him nonetheless, but I fear we'll always have this subject to disagree on.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
It Was Nice To Meet You
I think I'm just going to die because of stress.
And yes, I am whining without a reason. I finally got something to do and I should be happy.
And yes, I am happy. I just like to be a little overly dramatic from time to time. And now is a fine time to do so.
And yes, I am whining without a reason. I finally got something to do and I should be happy.
And yes, I am happy. I just like to be a little overly dramatic from time to time. And now is a fine time to do so.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
I'm With Emily On That One
I so need this poster. But I need it more like a blind that I can pull the cord to every now and then. Or if I have to take the poster I would hang it somewhere near me at work or at home and simply point to it without saying anything.
It's not even that I don't like people. I'm just not alone enough those last days.
Also, I just love that poster.
I said I need it more like a joke, but every time I look at it my tiny little heart years for it a little more. I just don't know where I could put it. Maybe I could make a dress out of it and just wear it.
But then again, I already want that 'I'm With Stupid' shirt. And that 'Do I Look Like I Care' shirt. And this one, for some strange reason.
PS: I think I wanted this entry to go somewhere, but I got lost somewhere on the road because all this cool stuff I want was lying around.
It's not even that I don't like people. I'm just not alone enough those last days.
Also, I just love that poster.
I said I need it more like a joke, but every time I look at it my tiny little heart years for it a little more. I just don't know where I could put it. Maybe I could make a dress out of it and just wear it.
But then again, I already want that 'I'm With Stupid' shirt. And that 'Do I Look Like I Care' shirt. And this one, for some strange reason.
PS: I think I wanted this entry to go somewhere, but I got lost somewhere on the road because all this cool stuff I want was lying around.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Does My Heart Know More Than My Head?
I start wondering whether I've already made my decision concerning the job situation. Maybe that's a little bit pushy, since I haven't heard the magical words 'You're hired' yet, but I need to think about it in case it really happens.
All the signs say that I want to take the new job. I'm constantly watching arte and have seen documentaries about some Taoists in China, gold-digging in Siberia, comic superheroes and the German elite boarding school Salem, all in French. I haven't ever watched arte before.
I also carry around my old Grammaire explicative (together with exercises and answers) wherever I go in case a sudden lust for French grammar takes possession of me.
I also think about refreshing and expanding my JavaScript and XML knowledge and have the first 80 pages of a printed out JavaScript ebook in my purse.
All these little things make me wonder whether I have already decided but somehow forgot to tell myself.
So, here's to my heart: Precious one, please let me know. Do you already know what I want? Because it would be nice to know what I want. Just this once.
All the signs say that I want to take the new job. I'm constantly watching arte and have seen documentaries about some Taoists in China, gold-digging in Siberia, comic superheroes and the German elite boarding school Salem, all in French. I haven't ever watched arte before.
I also carry around my old Grammaire explicative (together with exercises and answers) wherever I go in case a sudden lust for French grammar takes possession of me.
I also think about refreshing and expanding my JavaScript and XML knowledge and have the first 80 pages of a printed out JavaScript ebook in my purse.
All these little things make me wonder whether I have already decided but somehow forgot to tell myself.
So, here's to my heart: Precious one, please let me know. Do you already know what I want? Because it would be nice to know what I want. Just this once.
Unconscious Mutterings - As Good As It Gets
1. Shelter - Care
2. Karate Kid - Samurai Pizza Cats. (If you need more prove that my mind works strange ways, I can't help you. That's about as good as I get.)
3. Andrew - Lloyd Webber. Ouch.
4. Rib - Broken. Not me, though.
5. Push it - Where? What? Okay.
6. Creep - Scare
7. Chainlink - Yeah. Whatever.
8. Squash - Badminton in a box. Who ever did come up with that?
9. No mercy - Not me. Again.
10. Superhero - The arte documentary on comic superheroes I watched today. In French.
Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun... just click here.
2. Karate Kid - Samurai Pizza Cats. (If you need more prove that my mind works strange ways, I can't help you. That's about as good as I get.)
3. Andrew - Lloyd Webber. Ouch.
4. Rib - Broken. Not me, though.
5. Push it - Where? What? Okay.
6. Creep - Scare
7. Chainlink - Yeah. Whatever.
8. Squash - Badminton in a box. Who ever did come up with that?
9. No mercy - Not me. Again.
10. Superhero - The arte documentary on comic superheroes I watched today. In French.
Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun... just click here.
The Others: Candies From Belgium
A few of my closest relatives, namely my mom, my grandmother and one of my countless aunts share their lust after the very famous Belgian Leonidas pralinés. Yes, I do, too. Especially the white ones with the coffee-cream-filling the nougat layer and the nut on top. They're my mom's favorites, so somehow they are mine, too.
You can only imagine my joy to introduce to you another candy from Belgium, though a very unique with a name and blog.
Let me introduce you to Cecilia of Clearcandy Daily!
I don't remember how I first came in touch with Cecilia's blog. I guess it was over Blogexplosion, but I can't tell for sure. In any way her blog was one of those that stuck out, in both visual and literal style.
Cecilia must be one of the sweetest things in the blogosphere. Her comments are always heart-breakingly cute and so are her answers to your comment on her blog. So are not afraid to leave your comment on Clearcandy Daily, you will be welcomed and hugged.
Right after her fondness for candy, Cecilia has a fondness for words. As far as I know English isn't her native language, but I always wonder if I could be wrong, since her entries are so well-written and carefully woven. It's a joy to read them, even those who deal with the pain and anger she currently feels while going through a breakup not expected. Another reason, by the way, to go there and cheer this girl up. She more than deserves it.
Thanks for all your sweet comments, Cecilia, I did my best to return the sweetness.
And all you other readers, shoo. What are you waiting for? There's nothing to see here. So run to the chocolate fountain.
You can only imagine my joy to introduce to you another candy from Belgium, though a very unique with a name and blog.
Let me introduce you to Cecilia of Clearcandy Daily!
I don't remember how I first came in touch with Cecilia's blog. I guess it was over Blogexplosion, but I can't tell for sure. In any way her blog was one of those that stuck out, in both visual and literal style.
Cecilia must be one of the sweetest things in the blogosphere. Her comments are always heart-breakingly cute and so are her answers to your comment on her blog. So are not afraid to leave your comment on Clearcandy Daily, you will be welcomed and hugged.
Right after her fondness for candy, Cecilia has a fondness for words. As far as I know English isn't her native language, but I always wonder if I could be wrong, since her entries are so well-written and carefully woven. It's a joy to read them, even those who deal with the pain and anger she currently feels while going through a breakup not expected. Another reason, by the way, to go there and cheer this girl up. She more than deserves it.
Thanks for all your sweet comments, Cecilia, I did my best to return the sweetness.
And all you other readers, shoo. What are you waiting for? There's nothing to see here. So run to the chocolate fountain.
What Were You Thinking?
I originally signed up with statcounter because I wanted to make funny posts about what searches led other people to my blog. Looking at the little list statcounter gives me it's not so funny yet.
canelloni
canelloni by jamie
Whenever did I write about canelloni?
Enlighten me please.
boardgame shop barcelona
I remember writing about boardgames and about how I'd like to go to Barcelona, but there was no connection between the two subjects. Ever. I could tell you the address of a nice boardgame shop in Cologne though. Interested?
jamie affolk
I wonder who that was. The search came from Germany, so I would REALLY like to know, because there's a possibility he or she knows me. However I didn't register any visits from Germany since the search, so whoever it was either knew me and didn't realize that he surfed on my blog or he didn't know me and wasn't that interested in getting to know me after all.
anett louisan boheme mp3
Again with the music and again with the mp3s. I'm sorry, but no. Get her CD, it's great and you won't regret it. I'm also pleased to say that this search came from the US, although anett louisan both is and sings in German.
related:www.hotkarls.com
No, we're not. Or do you know something I don't?
wasp in the house kill
Repeat with me: We don't do that. We don't kill wasps. We really don't. Read my 100 Things for further information.
actionscript snow falling straight down
Go
here.
my ears pierced site:blogspot.com
Another combination of words I totally don't understand. What's with the colon? And no, I don't have my ears pierced. I have virgin earlobs. And I'm damn proud of it, although sometimes I wonder if I should get them pierced, so I can dangle pretty jewelry from them. But not any time soon.
shivaree boring who's got trouble
Now, if you thing it's boring, why are you searching for it anyway. And they're not, by the way. Really not.
jem mp3 finally woken blog
The word 'blog' somehow startles me. Because I do understand how the first four words go together, but the last one... How does that fit in?
jamie
Yep. Me. And a whole lot of other people. Did you really think that seach word would lead you to anything useful? Yeah, well, you know NOW.
back cover hang on little tomato
Do you recognize a pattern here? Obviously more than half of the search terms that lead people to my side are music related. The downside of this is that I doubt anyone will come back once they realize that I don't have what they are looking for. But you could just ask me. I could scan the back cover and send it to you via email. But no one ever asks me.
stina nordenstam live fasching
For all of you who don't know what this is about, because amazingly I do, Stina did a live concert in some club called Fasching and there are mp3s of her performing live somewhere on the web. And yes, I do have them. Only I really don't know where.
shivaree who's got trouble? mp3
As much as I would love to share my mp3s on my blog for my readers, as far as I know it's not legal, so I won't. I recommend you get the CD. Because Shivaree is always, always worth it.
wonderfalls music lyrics
Yeah, I like the theme song very much as well. And I think I searched for the lyrics before. They're not here, though. Sorry.
katell keineg lyrics
I don't have them either, despite the few that are printed in the booklet of 'O Seasons'. But there are some transcription on the web. I know because I've seen them. That's how I learned the lyrics to 'Gulf of Araby'. The chords were easy.
just jamie
That's... Sweet somehow. I just wonder what you really were searching for. After all, you got just jamie here.
world of jaime
Yeah, you spelled my name wrong. I don't care that it's not my real name, you still spelled it wrong. I also don't care if you weren't looking for me but someone called Jaime, because you STILL SPELLED MY NAME WRONG. Duh.
pink martini hang on lyrics translation
I always feel a little sorry when I see that people come to my site in search of something that isn't sick or scary or something of that kind and will leave my page disappointed.
If I knew somebody wanted translation to the lyrics I would have typed them down. Yes, I'll do pretty much anything to make someone read my blog.
On a side note, the translations are in the booklet, so I must assume whoever it was didn't actually buy the CD. What do I make of that?
jamie german girl
Those search words actually were typed in somewhere in Spain. At least that's what statcounter tells me. Hi, Spain person! I am here! Jamie, the German girl. You found me. Or maybe you meant someone else.
jamie beers fairy
I'd like to write something witty about that, but the combination is just too fucking strange for words. I already have images in my head about me sitting in a magic forest with a beer in one hand and a fairy circling above my head. Yeah. What were you thinking?
euphemism
I actually think that I made clear what euphemism is in that one post. If you were looking for an actual explanation, you were wrong, dear stranger.
cologne carnivale germany
Oh, sorry for that. You were actually interested in that, weren't you. I'm really and honestly sorry that you landed on the blog of the one person living here that hates Karneval. I might still post pictures, though, so you can come back then.
canelloni
canelloni by jamie
Whenever did I write about canelloni?
Enlighten me please.
boardgame shop barcelona
I remember writing about boardgames and about how I'd like to go to Barcelona, but there was no connection between the two subjects. Ever. I could tell you the address of a nice boardgame shop in Cologne though. Interested?
jamie affolk
I wonder who that was. The search came from Germany, so I would REALLY like to know, because there's a possibility he or she knows me. However I didn't register any visits from Germany since the search, so whoever it was either knew me and didn't realize that he surfed on my blog or he didn't know me and wasn't that interested in getting to know me after all.
anett louisan boheme mp3
Again with the music and again with the mp3s. I'm sorry, but no. Get her CD, it's great and you won't regret it. I'm also pleased to say that this search came from the US, although anett louisan both is and sings in German.
related:www.hotkarls.com
No, we're not. Or do you know something I don't?
wasp in the house kill
Repeat with me: We don't do that. We don't kill wasps. We really don't. Read my 100 Things for further information.
actionscript snow falling straight down
Go
here.
my ears pierced site:blogspot.com
Another combination of words I totally don't understand. What's with the colon? And no, I don't have my ears pierced. I have virgin earlobs. And I'm damn proud of it, although sometimes I wonder if I should get them pierced, so I can dangle pretty jewelry from them. But not any time soon.
shivaree boring who's got trouble
Now, if you thing it's boring, why are you searching for it anyway. And they're not, by the way. Really not.
jem mp3 finally woken blog
The word 'blog' somehow startles me. Because I do understand how the first four words go together, but the last one... How does that fit in?
jamie
Yep. Me. And a whole lot of other people. Did you really think that seach word would lead you to anything useful? Yeah, well, you know NOW.
back cover hang on little tomato
Do you recognize a pattern here? Obviously more than half of the search terms that lead people to my side are music related. The downside of this is that I doubt anyone will come back once they realize that I don't have what they are looking for. But you could just ask me. I could scan the back cover and send it to you via email. But no one ever asks me.
stina nordenstam live fasching
For all of you who don't know what this is about, because amazingly I do, Stina did a live concert in some club called Fasching and there are mp3s of her performing live somewhere on the web. And yes, I do have them. Only I really don't know where.
shivaree who's got trouble? mp3
As much as I would love to share my mp3s on my blog for my readers, as far as I know it's not legal, so I won't. I recommend you get the CD. Because Shivaree is always, always worth it.
wonderfalls music lyrics
Yeah, I like the theme song very much as well. And I think I searched for the lyrics before. They're not here, though. Sorry.
katell keineg lyrics
I don't have them either, despite the few that are printed in the booklet of 'O Seasons'. But there are some transcription on the web. I know because I've seen them. That's how I learned the lyrics to 'Gulf of Araby'. The chords were easy.
just jamie
That's... Sweet somehow. I just wonder what you really were searching for. After all, you got just jamie here.
world of jaime
Yeah, you spelled my name wrong. I don't care that it's not my real name, you still spelled it wrong. I also don't care if you weren't looking for me but someone called Jaime, because you STILL SPELLED MY NAME WRONG. Duh.
pink martini hang on lyrics translation
I always feel a little sorry when I see that people come to my site in search of something that isn't sick or scary or something of that kind and will leave my page disappointed.
If I knew somebody wanted translation to the lyrics I would have typed them down. Yes, I'll do pretty much anything to make someone read my blog.
On a side note, the translations are in the booklet, so I must assume whoever it was didn't actually buy the CD. What do I make of that?
jamie german girl
Those search words actually were typed in somewhere in Spain. At least that's what statcounter tells me. Hi, Spain person! I am here! Jamie, the German girl. You found me. Or maybe you meant someone else.
jamie beers fairy
I'd like to write something witty about that, but the combination is just too fucking strange for words. I already have images in my head about me sitting in a magic forest with a beer in one hand and a fairy circling above my head. Yeah. What were you thinking?
euphemism
I actually think that I made clear what euphemism is in that one post. If you were looking for an actual explanation, you were wrong, dear stranger.
cologne carnivale germany
Oh, sorry for that. You were actually interested in that, weren't you. I'm really and honestly sorry that you landed on the blog of the one person living here that hates Karneval. I might still post pictures, though, so you can come back then.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
And Now, The Moment You Have All Been Waiting For
I registered at flickr.com and uploaded some photos.
I am too lazy now to all put them on display here with witty notes and stuff, so I'll just send you over to my photos at flickr for now.
Once the laziness is gone I will add pictures to this blog and actually tell them what they show, but definitely not now.
PS to Caitlin: I can't disprove that theory you wrote about. There are photos where I actually look good, but there surely are a lot more where I look scary.
I am too lazy now to all put them on display here with witty notes and stuff, so I'll just send you over to my photos at flickr for now.
Once the laziness is gone I will add pictures to this blog and actually tell them what they show, but definitely not now.
PS to Caitlin: I can't disprove that theory you wrote about. There are photos where I actually look good, but there surely are a lot more where I look scary.
The Second-Best Thing to Time-Travelling
Every once in a while, most likely on a lazy and probably rainy Sunday afternoon, I find myself in a state where I long back for those days when I was a teenager with nothing to worry about except things like 'Why am I never cool?', 'Which CD should I buy next?' or 'Will I ever have sex?'
No real worries compared to: 'Will I find a job that I actually like?' or 'How am I supposed to pay next months rent?'
It is these days when I watch movies like 'Wish Upon a Star' and 'Model Behavior' and enjoy them to an unnatural extent. You must click the links if you don't know any of these movies, because otherwise you won't understand the real meaning of the last sentence.
I only wish they would show 'Rags to Riches' again. I would be in heaven. (Sometimes the very early seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 would do, too. But I'm not gonna link to that. I still have some pride left.)
No real worries compared to: 'Will I find a job that I actually like?' or 'How am I supposed to pay next months rent?'
It is these days when I watch movies like 'Wish Upon a Star' and 'Model Behavior' and enjoy them to an unnatural extent. You must click the links if you don't know any of these movies, because otherwise you won't understand the real meaning of the last sentence.
I only wish they would show 'Rags to Riches' again. I would be in heaven. (Sometimes the very early seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 would do, too. But I'm not gonna link to that. I still have some pride left.)
100 Things About Me
Update: I decided to finish the list. Now you can read the whole 100 things about me. Have fun and learn.
Yes, it seems to be protocol by now. But it also is kind of fun, so who am I to resist?
1. I have had 2 pseudonyms so far.
2. I like my first name but I'm not so fond of my last name.
3. I was partly raised by my grandparents. At least to me it feels like I was.
4. I skipped first grade.
5. My great-grandfather taught upright bass at the Cologne academy of music.
6. I had ten years of piano lessons and I can play really good.
7. I don't like to be pressured.
8. I'm still scared of one particular children's book. I'm so scared that I don't even dare to tell you which one.
9. I haven't even read it.
10. I just recently started to drink coffee.
11. I still only like coffee with a lot of additional syrup, milk and sugar.
12. I love languages. I wish I could speak more languages.
13. My childhood vacation memories are all connected to France.
14. I can sleep nearly everywhere. I'm very good at sleeping.
15. I stole a strawberry when I was in primary school.
16. I suck at any kind of sports. Always have, probably always will.
17. I'm deeply in love with the man I want to marry.
18. I already have picked our wedding day. Or at least the day I would like to be our wedding day.
19. I haven't figured out what I want to do yet. I feel overwhelmed by the possibilities and seem unable to pick one.
20. I can be very impatient with people.
21. I can be VERY patient with animals.
22. I am scared of death. Not particularly mine but death in general. I am extremely scared of losing people I love.
23. I have a stuffed weasel which I always hold in my hand when I fall asleep.
24. I have seen Paul Simon play live twice.
25. I was backstage with Beth Orton for approximately 10 minutes and had no idea what I should say.
26. I remember a lot of things.
27. I have a lot of childhood memories. I could draw you a ground plan of my kindergarten and tell you the names of all the teachers.
28. I have never been on TV. Although I was close twice.
29. I wasn't really popular in high school. In fact I was the opposite of popular.
30. Every guy I fell in love with was at least 10 years older than me.
31. I watch a lot of TV.
32. I was too scared to play System Shock 2. I had a friend play it for me.
33. I moved out when I was 19.
34. I play with my food.
35. I have been to the opera three (or four) times.
36. I have written three novels so far. They were all really bad.
37. I won our school's short story contest once. I entered two stories and they both won. The following year you were only allowed to enter one short story.
38. I had straight A+'s in math the last two years of high school.
39. I sometimes do math tasks from old schoolbooks to relax.
40. I hardly ever don't like a movie.
41. The magazines I buy regularly are: A cooking magazine, a games magazine, a style magazine and a TV magazine.
42. By regularly I mean every issue.
43. I was in a children's choir for about one year.
44. I love nearly everything of the Muppets.
45. I like to sort flyers and stuff when I'm waiting somewhere.
46. I was afraid of the Count von Count from Sesame Street when I was small (and - obviously - stupid).
47. I have never broken a bone in my life.
48. But I have broken a lot of glasses, plates, cups. I blame my lack of real 3D-sight.
49. I got my driver's license three days after my 18th birthday.
50. I seem to like Japanese cars.
51. I have a weak spot for Gilbert O'Sullivan.
52. I have been raised kind of catholic and have only good memories of it.
53. Yet I haven't been to church (with two exceptions) in years.
54. I like milk.
55. Theoretically I'm afraid of flying. Yet once I'm in a plane I am all giddy and excited.
56. I have a lot of hair. But it doesn't look like it.
57. Dogs have been my favorite animal since primary school.
58. I didn't like the second book of The Lord of the Rings. Most of the time I had no clue what was going on. (I liked the Ents though.)
59. I don't mind movies based on books. I hate it when people complain about how a movie wasn't at all like the book or that you could never make a movie based on a particular book. It's a book. It's a movie. They're different media. Deal with it.
60. I don't know how to operate the phone in the office. I can call and take calls. That's about it.
61. I can operate VCRs. I managed to program a completely unprogrammed VCR without any kind of manual. But since the remote to my VCR is broken I'm not able to program mine.
62. Three of my grandparents come from now Eastern Europe countries (namely Lithuania and Czechia). They're German though, they just lived there before the war.
63. I don't like crowds.
64. Dripping water faucets drive me crazy. Not regular crazy, but there-are-no-words crazy.
65. I'm not afraid of wasps, hornets and most other insects. In fact when there's a wasp in the house I don't kill but catch it and let it fly outside. I have done it with hornets as well.
66. Spiders are NOT insects. I would like to stress that.
67. When I'm drunk I'm either extremely giddy or extremely whiny. And you can do nothing about it.
68. I sleepwalked when I was a kid.
69. I believe in aliens. Not little green men. But I figure that since there's an indefinite number of planets out there, there must be life on some of them.
70. I read all the books of the 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' series several times.
71. I have low blood pressure. Not too low, just low.
72. Although I don't really believe in zodiac signs and what they say about one's personality I firmly believe that I am as Libra as Libra can be.
73. I don't usually hold grudges. But if I do, it's close to permanent.
74. I have really good teeth and I don't have to do anything for it. I know how lucky I am.
75. I have no allergies (at least not that I know of).
76. I am an orthography nerd. I like things to be spelled properly. Hence, the internet drives me crazy.
77. But I can live with that. What I can't live with is things being spelled wrong in books. Get it right, guys. You're getting paid for it.
78. I consider Diet Coke a very modern form of hypocrisy.
79. I would love to go to a Karaoke night, but I never have so far. Yes, I would sing.
80. Two of my grandaunts are nuns. I always wanted to know how their hair looked like when I was a kid.
81. According to everything I've read I'm going to get scaringly old.
82. I tend to wear down my favorite clothes and shoes to the point where they can't be mended anymore.
83. I don't like bananas unless they're fried and sprinkled with honey. Everything else is a no-can-do.
84. I still have childish fantasies where I become best friends with some celebrity. And I kind of believe in them. Hey, anything can happen!
85. I have a strange obsession with Iceland since I was fourteen or so. I want to go there someday.
86. I don't have a nickname. Never have. My real name doesn't make for a good nickname.
87. I don't mind doing the laundry or the dishes at all.
88. I love IKEA.
89. Then again, who doesn't?
90. When I saw 'Martha Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence' I was alone in the cinema. It was a hot summer afternoon and apparently nobody else wanted to see an independent British movie in the original language with subtitles. Peasants.
91. I burned all my diaries a few years ago. It was about the most radical thing I have ever done.
92. Jane Austen's books always surprise me.
93. I'm very good at reading maps and giving driving instructions.
94. Yet I always confuse left and right.
95. I never had my ears pierced. I'm thinking about it from time to time, though.
96. I love wearing skirts and dresses. I'm really girly that way.
97. My mom was 19 when I was born. I wasn't exactly planned.
98. The story of my birth scares the shit out of me. I always feel sorry for my mom and kind of responsible.
99. I am an only child. Go figure.
100. Ah, what the hell. My real name is Anne.
Yes, it seems to be protocol by now. But it also is kind of fun, so who am I to resist?
1. I have had 2 pseudonyms so far.
2. I like my first name but I'm not so fond of my last name.
3. I was partly raised by my grandparents. At least to me it feels like I was.
4. I skipped first grade.
5. My great-grandfather taught upright bass at the Cologne academy of music.
6. I had ten years of piano lessons and I can play really good.
7. I don't like to be pressured.
8. I'm still scared of one particular children's book. I'm so scared that I don't even dare to tell you which one.
9. I haven't even read it.
10. I just recently started to drink coffee.
11. I still only like coffee with a lot of additional syrup, milk and sugar.
12. I love languages. I wish I could speak more languages.
13. My childhood vacation memories are all connected to France.
14. I can sleep nearly everywhere. I'm very good at sleeping.
15. I stole a strawberry when I was in primary school.
16. I suck at any kind of sports. Always have, probably always will.
17. I'm deeply in love with the man I want to marry.
18. I already have picked our wedding day. Or at least the day I would like to be our wedding day.
19. I haven't figured out what I want to do yet. I feel overwhelmed by the possibilities and seem unable to pick one.
20. I can be very impatient with people.
21. I can be VERY patient with animals.
22. I am scared of death. Not particularly mine but death in general. I am extremely scared of losing people I love.
23. I have a stuffed weasel which I always hold in my hand when I fall asleep.
24. I have seen Paul Simon play live twice.
25. I was backstage with Beth Orton for approximately 10 minutes and had no idea what I should say.
26. I remember a lot of things.
27. I have a lot of childhood memories. I could draw you a ground plan of my kindergarten and tell you the names of all the teachers.
28. I have never been on TV. Although I was close twice.
29. I wasn't really popular in high school. In fact I was the opposite of popular.
30. Every guy I fell in love with was at least 10 years older than me.
31. I watch a lot of TV.
32. I was too scared to play System Shock 2. I had a friend play it for me.
33. I moved out when I was 19.
34. I play with my food.
35. I have been to the opera three (or four) times.
36. I have written three novels so far. They were all really bad.
37. I won our school's short story contest once. I entered two stories and they both won. The following year you were only allowed to enter one short story.
38. I had straight A+'s in math the last two years of high school.
39. I sometimes do math tasks from old schoolbooks to relax.
40. I hardly ever don't like a movie.
41. The magazines I buy regularly are: A cooking magazine, a games magazine, a style magazine and a TV magazine.
42. By regularly I mean every issue.
43. I was in a children's choir for about one year.
44. I love nearly everything of the Muppets.
45. I like to sort flyers and stuff when I'm waiting somewhere.
46. I was afraid of the Count von Count from Sesame Street when I was small (and - obviously - stupid).
47. I have never broken a bone in my life.
48. But I have broken a lot of glasses, plates, cups. I blame my lack of real 3D-sight.
49. I got my driver's license three days after my 18th birthday.
50. I seem to like Japanese cars.
51. I have a weak spot for Gilbert O'Sullivan.
52. I have been raised kind of catholic and have only good memories of it.
53. Yet I haven't been to church (with two exceptions) in years.
54. I like milk.
55. Theoretically I'm afraid of flying. Yet once I'm in a plane I am all giddy and excited.
56. I have a lot of hair. But it doesn't look like it.
57. Dogs have been my favorite animal since primary school.
58. I didn't like the second book of The Lord of the Rings. Most of the time I had no clue what was going on. (I liked the Ents though.)
59. I don't mind movies based on books. I hate it when people complain about how a movie wasn't at all like the book or that you could never make a movie based on a particular book. It's a book. It's a movie. They're different media. Deal with it.
60. I don't know how to operate the phone in the office. I can call and take calls. That's about it.
61. I can operate VCRs. I managed to program a completely unprogrammed VCR without any kind of manual. But since the remote to my VCR is broken I'm not able to program mine.
62. Three of my grandparents come from now Eastern Europe countries (namely Lithuania and Czechia). They're German though, they just lived there before the war.
63. I don't like crowds.
64. Dripping water faucets drive me crazy. Not regular crazy, but there-are-no-words crazy.
65. I'm not afraid of wasps, hornets and most other insects. In fact when there's a wasp in the house I don't kill but catch it and let it fly outside. I have done it with hornets as well.
66. Spiders are NOT insects. I would like to stress that.
67. When I'm drunk I'm either extremely giddy or extremely whiny. And you can do nothing about it.
68. I sleepwalked when I was a kid.
69. I believe in aliens. Not little green men. But I figure that since there's an indefinite number of planets out there, there must be life on some of them.
70. I read all the books of the 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' series several times.
71. I have low blood pressure. Not too low, just low.
72. Although I don't really believe in zodiac signs and what they say about one's personality I firmly believe that I am as Libra as Libra can be.
73. I don't usually hold grudges. But if I do, it's close to permanent.
74. I have really good teeth and I don't have to do anything for it. I know how lucky I am.
75. I have no allergies (at least not that I know of).
76. I am an orthography nerd. I like things to be spelled properly. Hence, the internet drives me crazy.
77. But I can live with that. What I can't live with is things being spelled wrong in books. Get it right, guys. You're getting paid for it.
78. I consider Diet Coke a very modern form of hypocrisy.
79. I would love to go to a Karaoke night, but I never have so far. Yes, I would sing.
80. Two of my grandaunts are nuns. I always wanted to know how their hair looked like when I was a kid.
81. According to everything I've read I'm going to get scaringly old.
82. I tend to wear down my favorite clothes and shoes to the point where they can't be mended anymore.
83. I don't like bananas unless they're fried and sprinkled with honey. Everything else is a no-can-do.
84. I still have childish fantasies where I become best friends with some celebrity. And I kind of believe in them. Hey, anything can happen!
85. I have a strange obsession with Iceland since I was fourteen or so. I want to go there someday.
86. I don't have a nickname. Never have. My real name doesn't make for a good nickname.
87. I don't mind doing the laundry or the dishes at all.
88. I love IKEA.
89. Then again, who doesn't?
90. When I saw 'Martha Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence' I was alone in the cinema. It was a hot summer afternoon and apparently nobody else wanted to see an independent British movie in the original language with subtitles. Peasants.
91. I burned all my diaries a few years ago. It was about the most radical thing I have ever done.
92. Jane Austen's books always surprise me.
93. I'm very good at reading maps and giving driving instructions.
94. Yet I always confuse left and right.
95. I never had my ears pierced. I'm thinking about it from time to time, though.
96. I love wearing skirts and dresses. I'm really girly that way.
97. My mom was 19 when I was born. I wasn't exactly planned.
98. The story of my birth scares the shit out of me. I always feel sorry for my mom and kind of responsible.
99. I am an only child. Go figure.
100. Ah, what the hell. My real name is Anne.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
I Am THAT Screwed Up!
You see this yoghurt?
It's vanilla yoghurt with little brown and white chocolate balls.
Yeah. I eat the brown balls first. And they're small, really.
Task: Guess how long it takes me to eat one fricking yoghurt.
Bonus task: Guess how long it takes me to eat a tangerine. Yeah. Exactly.
It's vanilla yoghurt with little brown and white chocolate balls.
Yeah. I eat the brown balls first. And they're small, really.
Task: Guess how long it takes me to eat one fricking yoghurt.
Bonus task: Guess how long it takes me to eat a tangerine. Yeah. Exactly.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Thursday's Child and the Unhatched Eggs
There was a reason why I wrote this post.
The reason is an incident I'm currently not sure how I will deal with, but that again reassured me that I must be one of the world's luckiest people.
As you may or may not know I recently finished my training. Also, as you may or may not know we won't be able to work at the company where we worked as trainees, but they let us stay for three month at full pay to give us some time to find a new job. Also, as you may or may not know, the boyfriend has been unemployed for about two years now, although he is constantly applying for jobs all over the country and has a great resume and references. Also, as you may or may not know the official number of unemployed people in Germany just went over the 5 million mark.
Also, as you may or may not know, I might just be in the position where I have to worry about which job I would like to take.
I sent out one application.
One.
That was about two weeks ago. The reason why I didn't write about it before and still feel awkward about it now is that I'm kind of paranoid about talking about those things before I am sure about what's going to happen. I honestly believe that if I tell you that I think I'm going to get that job, they will call me tomorrow and tell me they chose someone else. But I'm working on overcoming that paranoia, so I'm telling you now, although nothing is for sure right now.
So, here's the story, as detailed as I'm able to at five minutes before midnight.
(So, who else of you loves Paolo Conte? Because I really do. That has nothing to do with the rest of the story, but I love Paolo Conte. Deeply.)
I applied for the job as a software engineer/designer at a company in the healthcare/pharma business. The ad said that they were looking for someone to start in February and I applied in about two weeks ago.
One week after I had sent the application I got the call. They wanted to invite me to a job interview, scheduled to take place a week later. I honestly couldn't believe it. I mean, my profile fit, but still.
The job interview went well. It was a little bit chaotic and I could see already that taking that job would include working a lot, but I liked the tasks and the fact that they had a lot of international contacts. Also, I'm not a very big fan of the company I currently work at.
Because of my paranoia I didn't even tell Andreas I had a job interview until the minute I came out the door and called him. I even was a little pissed because the boyfriend had told my mom I had a job interview. I don't know what it is, but somehow I don't want the cheering up and crossing fingers. I will spill it all out after, but I don't like to talk about it before.
The next week we tried to get more information about whether there is chance we can stay at our company longer than the three month. There's this one guy both Andreas and I worked for during our training and he would like us to work for a big project, but he needs one of the managers to give his approval. At the most we could stay for another two years, but nothing is settled yet.
We met with the guy on Wednesday and basically what he told us was how much he wanted to have us work for the project and that he will do everything to get us to stay as long as possible. He also told us that up to now he hasn't heard anything from the manager on this subject. Maybe I'm just picky, but I consider a contract a really fine thing.
The same afternoon my boss told me he wanted to talk to me and it turns out that there's another team where I could work with the option that I could stay longer. Again, nothing is definite and he has to talk to one of the managers first.
Now, today I get the call from the other company and from what I can tell they already decided that I will be the one for them. At least that's the feeling I got. He told me how much I would earn and that he would like to meet with me again next week with one of the HR guys present to discuss the details. He didn't say anything about a second job interview or something, so I can only guess that they have already decided.
Now, what the hell am I going to do?
I kind of hoped that the other company wouldn't call me before next week so that maybe things at my company would be clearer and I would know what I can expect there.
Now everything's mixed up and I am confused.
Here are the pros and cons (and then I will go to bed).
My company (that means the one I currently work at):
On the pro-side they pay more (at least slightly), I know pretty much what I can expect and how things are organized, I know a few people and Andreas works there and I'm pretty sure that the work wouldn't be too exhausting. Also, I know that the company isn't likely to go bankrupt in the near future.
The not-so-good things are that I would be doing a lot of host-programming, mostly COBOL and aside from being not too exhausting it can also be quite tedious. I also don't like my company too much, so I wouldn't exactly mind a change of scenery. And I would only get a fixed-term contract.
Apart from that I don't even know whether I'm going to get a fixed-term contract that extends the three months they promised us. They just told me the chances are good, I haven't seen a friggin' contract yet.
The other company:
On the pro-side the work would be more interesting. I would be able to go a little bit back to internet design and these things. As far as I can tell I would also learn a lot and be able to use my foreign language skills (they told me that part of their decision was based on the fact that I speak French and they need someone who does). And as I said before I wouldn't mind a change.
On the con-side I know near to nothing about this company. It's also a small company and I'm not really a small company gal. I'm not good with the whole 'we-are-one-big-team-and-we-all-like-each-other' attitude, and I'm not sure whether this kind of attitude or one of its variants is carefully maintained. They pay a little less, but that's not really what I worry about. It's still enough. What I'm worried about the most is the fact that during the so-called 'Probezeit' they can fire me anytime they want and I don't know enough about the company and the probability that it's going bankrupt anytime soon.
You can sum it up that way: My company gives me a lot of safety (if I get a fixed-term contract that extends the three months), but I'm not thrilled about the work I would have to do. The other company offers an interesting workfield, but I don't really know what I'll be getting into. So it's fun against safety. A little bit heart agains head. And I like both.
I don't know yet what to do. I will have to wait until next week anyway. I need a contract to sign and I may just decide that whoever gives me a contract first will win.
The reason is an incident I'm currently not sure how I will deal with, but that again reassured me that I must be one of the world's luckiest people.
As you may or may not know I recently finished my training. Also, as you may or may not know we won't be able to work at the company where we worked as trainees, but they let us stay for three month at full pay to give us some time to find a new job. Also, as you may or may not know, the boyfriend has been unemployed for about two years now, although he is constantly applying for jobs all over the country and has a great resume and references. Also, as you may or may not know the official number of unemployed people in Germany just went over the 5 million mark.
Also, as you may or may not know, I might just be in the position where I have to worry about which job I would like to take.
I sent out one application.
One.
That was about two weeks ago. The reason why I didn't write about it before and still feel awkward about it now is that I'm kind of paranoid about talking about those things before I am sure about what's going to happen. I honestly believe that if I tell you that I think I'm going to get that job, they will call me tomorrow and tell me they chose someone else. But I'm working on overcoming that paranoia, so I'm telling you now, although nothing is for sure right now.
So, here's the story, as detailed as I'm able to at five minutes before midnight.
(So, who else of you loves Paolo Conte? Because I really do. That has nothing to do with the rest of the story, but I love Paolo Conte. Deeply.)
I applied for the job as a software engineer/designer at a company in the healthcare/pharma business. The ad said that they were looking for someone to start in February and I applied in about two weeks ago.
One week after I had sent the application I got the call. They wanted to invite me to a job interview, scheduled to take place a week later. I honestly couldn't believe it. I mean, my profile fit, but still.
The job interview went well. It was a little bit chaotic and I could see already that taking that job would include working a lot, but I liked the tasks and the fact that they had a lot of international contacts. Also, I'm not a very big fan of the company I currently work at.
Because of my paranoia I didn't even tell Andreas I had a job interview until the minute I came out the door and called him. I even was a little pissed because the boyfriend had told my mom I had a job interview. I don't know what it is, but somehow I don't want the cheering up and crossing fingers. I will spill it all out after, but I don't like to talk about it before.
The next week we tried to get more information about whether there is chance we can stay at our company longer than the three month. There's this one guy both Andreas and I worked for during our training and he would like us to work for a big project, but he needs one of the managers to give his approval. At the most we could stay for another two years, but nothing is settled yet.
We met with the guy on Wednesday and basically what he told us was how much he wanted to have us work for the project and that he will do everything to get us to stay as long as possible. He also told us that up to now he hasn't heard anything from the manager on this subject. Maybe I'm just picky, but I consider a contract a really fine thing.
The same afternoon my boss told me he wanted to talk to me and it turns out that there's another team where I could work with the option that I could stay longer. Again, nothing is definite and he has to talk to one of the managers first.
Now, today I get the call from the other company and from what I can tell they already decided that I will be the one for them. At least that's the feeling I got. He told me how much I would earn and that he would like to meet with me again next week with one of the HR guys present to discuss the details. He didn't say anything about a second job interview or something, so I can only guess that they have already decided.
Now, what the hell am I going to do?
I kind of hoped that the other company wouldn't call me before next week so that maybe things at my company would be clearer and I would know what I can expect there.
Now everything's mixed up and I am confused.
Here are the pros and cons (and then I will go to bed).
My company (that means the one I currently work at):
On the pro-side they pay more (at least slightly), I know pretty much what I can expect and how things are organized, I know a few people and Andreas works there and I'm pretty sure that the work wouldn't be too exhausting. Also, I know that the company isn't likely to go bankrupt in the near future.
The not-so-good things are that I would be doing a lot of host-programming, mostly COBOL and aside from being not too exhausting it can also be quite tedious. I also don't like my company too much, so I wouldn't exactly mind a change of scenery. And I would only get a fixed-term contract.
Apart from that I don't even know whether I'm going to get a fixed-term contract that extends the three months they promised us. They just told me the chances are good, I haven't seen a friggin' contract yet.
The other company:
On the pro-side the work would be more interesting. I would be able to go a little bit back to internet design and these things. As far as I can tell I would also learn a lot and be able to use my foreign language skills (they told me that part of their decision was based on the fact that I speak French and they need someone who does). And as I said before I wouldn't mind a change.
On the con-side I know near to nothing about this company. It's also a small company and I'm not really a small company gal. I'm not good with the whole 'we-are-one-big-team-and-we-all-like-each-other' attitude, and I'm not sure whether this kind of attitude or one of its variants is carefully maintained. They pay a little less, but that's not really what I worry about. It's still enough. What I'm worried about the most is the fact that during the so-called 'Probezeit' they can fire me anytime they want and I don't know enough about the company and the probability that it's going bankrupt anytime soon.
You can sum it up that way: My company gives me a lot of safety (if I get a fixed-term contract that extends the three months), but I'm not thrilled about the work I would have to do. The other company offers an interesting workfield, but I don't really know what I'll be getting into. So it's fun against safety. A little bit heart agains head. And I like both.
I don't know yet what to do. I will have to wait until next week anyway. I need a contract to sign and I may just decide that whoever gives me a contract first will win.
Thinking in Blog
This blog has really become a part of my life. I can tell, because every so often something happens and I find myself thinking: 'I can't wait to get to write about that.'
That also resembles the way my blog changed over the months since I started it in October. At the beginning it was mostly an online diary. I would write an entry a day (not even every day) about what I had done that or the other day. I wrote long posts that included everything that came into my mind.
Now I think my blog resembles more a notebook or something like that. It's not that much a diary then it is a collection of thoughts, experiences and events. Most days I write several entries about different things, things that do not have a direct connection.
Finally I also find that I have certain threads in my blog. The marriage-thread or the tenant-thread are two examples and there are a few more.
All in all the way I think about my blog changed over the past few months. I guess it was bound to change from the beginning. When I started I had no idea how it would be. I didn't know how long I would stick with it and I certainly had no idea if anybody would ever read my blog. I also knew very few blogs myself. That all has changed rapidly during the last few months and hence, my blog has changed. I think it's a wild mixture of influences from other blogs, the feedback I get, all the cool and/or useful features I could find and also myself, of course.
I am now a person who thinks in blog from time to time. And I love when this happens: 'Ah, now there's something I can write about.'
That also resembles the way my blog changed over the months since I started it in October. At the beginning it was mostly an online diary. I would write an entry a day (not even every day) about what I had done that or the other day. I wrote long posts that included everything that came into my mind.
Now I think my blog resembles more a notebook or something like that. It's not that much a diary then it is a collection of thoughts, experiences and events. Most days I write several entries about different things, things that do not have a direct connection.
Finally I also find that I have certain threads in my blog. The marriage-thread or the tenant-thread are two examples and there are a few more.
All in all the way I think about my blog changed over the past few months. I guess it was bound to change from the beginning. When I started I had no idea how it would be. I didn't know how long I would stick with it and I certainly had no idea if anybody would ever read my blog. I also knew very few blogs myself. That all has changed rapidly during the last few months and hence, my blog has changed. I think it's a wild mixture of influences from other blogs, the feedback I get, all the cool and/or useful features I could find and also myself, of course.
I am now a person who thinks in blog from time to time. And I love when this happens: 'Ah, now there's something I can write about.'
Love and Marriage and How to Get There (Episode 6)
I called the registry office in Geldern today and they told me we have to send a short letter demanding a copy of the so-called 'Familienbuch' of the boyfriend's parents.
According to the nice lady we spoke to in Leverkusen that's all we need. The boyfriend already wrote the letter and we're going to send it today.
Yeah, the other thing. I lured him with money. I tried to find out how much money I'm going to take home once I have a real job and it turns out that I'd get about 300 to 400 Euro more every month if I was married.
I agree that it's a pretty unromantic way to think about it, but then again, guys... 300 Euro. Every month. Considering the fact that we're talking about getting married for nearly a year now, it's a pretty good reason to do it soon. It's not like we're flush with money or have ever been.
But again, that's surely not the reason I want to marry the boyfriend. The real reason is purely emotional and as romantic as it can be. But then again, if you knew what my bank account looked like for like the last five years, you'd understand why the idea of getting more money just for doing what I want to do anyway doesn't sound too bad to me.
According to the nice lady we spoke to in Leverkusen that's all we need. The boyfriend already wrote the letter and we're going to send it today.
Yeah, the other thing. I lured him with money. I tried to find out how much money I'm going to take home once I have a real job and it turns out that I'd get about 300 to 400 Euro more every month if I was married.
I agree that it's a pretty unromantic way to think about it, but then again, guys... 300 Euro. Every month. Considering the fact that we're talking about getting married for nearly a year now, it's a pretty good reason to do it soon. It's not like we're flush with money or have ever been.
But again, that's surely not the reason I want to marry the boyfriend. The real reason is purely emotional and as romantic as it can be. But then again, if you knew what my bank account looked like for like the last five years, you'd understand why the idea of getting more money just for doing what I want to do anyway doesn't sound too bad to me.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Today I Met the Cookie Monster, a Fairy, a Cowgirl and a Lot of Soon-To-Be-Drunk People
(I get the feeling that the titles of my entries are getting too long.)
Now here are the six days of the year when I realize I'm living in the wrong part of the country.
I hate Karneval.
Karneval is also known as Fasching, but don't try to call it Fasching here. At least not if you like all your body parts intact. Also, and I wish I would be kidding, don't EVER shout 'Helau' in Cologne or 'Alaaf' in Düsseldorf, at least not if you cherish your life.
I admit that up to the age of about 17 I enjoyed Karneval in a careless sort of way. It was okay. I would attend the school's Karneval party on Weiberfastnacht and then maybe go see the parade with Natascha and bitch about old women snatching away the candy from little children. Or us.
The last time I remember I was dressed up as a Dutch girl, which was pretty much the most stupid costume I ever had, because I have brown hair and the wig that actually won't fall off my head has yet to be invented, but it was fun anyway.
The most intellectual costume I had was a few years before when Natascha and I decided that I would go as an 'N' and she would go as a 'D'. In short, we cut out big letters from cardboard and hung them from our necks. There is a whole pop-culture reference behind it, and a pun intended, but you'd have to speak German and know 'Schmidteinander' to get them, so I won't go into any details.
In the years that have passed I was able to grow some sweet and rewarding hatred against Karneval and I find that I'm not the only one. Every year my first impulse is to hide under a table and not come out until it's Ash Wednesday and everything is over. Friday to Sunday aren't so bad, but today, Monday and Tuesday are the worst days.
Now, Karneval is not necessarily a bad thing, although in my opinion it is. I just don't like it. I don't like to get drunk and be funny just because the rules say so. I don't want to get dressed up and listen to terrible music just because I am supposed to.
So, basically what I plan to do:
Hide under the table and not come out until it's safe again.
At least Monday is a holiday here.
PS: If you like to know anything else about Germany's strange customs, just ask. If you ask nice enough I might even buy a newspaper and post the pictures.
Now here are the six days of the year when I realize I'm living in the wrong part of the country.
I hate Karneval.
Karneval is also known as Fasching, but don't try to call it Fasching here. At least not if you like all your body parts intact. Also, and I wish I would be kidding, don't EVER shout 'Helau' in Cologne or 'Alaaf' in Düsseldorf, at least not if you cherish your life.
I admit that up to the age of about 17 I enjoyed Karneval in a careless sort of way. It was okay. I would attend the school's Karneval party on Weiberfastnacht and then maybe go see the parade with Natascha and bitch about old women snatching away the candy from little children. Or us.
The last time I remember I was dressed up as a Dutch girl, which was pretty much the most stupid costume I ever had, because I have brown hair and the wig that actually won't fall off my head has yet to be invented, but it was fun anyway.
The most intellectual costume I had was a few years before when Natascha and I decided that I would go as an 'N' and she would go as a 'D'. In short, we cut out big letters from cardboard and hung them from our necks. There is a whole pop-culture reference behind it, and a pun intended, but you'd have to speak German and know 'Schmidteinander' to get them, so I won't go into any details.
In the years that have passed I was able to grow some sweet and rewarding hatred against Karneval and I find that I'm not the only one. Every year my first impulse is to hide under a table and not come out until it's Ash Wednesday and everything is over. Friday to Sunday aren't so bad, but today, Monday and Tuesday are the worst days.
Now, Karneval is not necessarily a bad thing, although in my opinion it is. I just don't like it. I don't like to get drunk and be funny just because the rules say so. I don't want to get dressed up and listen to terrible music just because I am supposed to.
So, basically what I plan to do:
Hide under the table and not come out until it's safe again.
At least Monday is a holiday here.
PS: If you like to know anything else about Germany's strange customs, just ask. If you ask nice enough I might even buy a newspaper and post the pictures.
Love Via Snail Mail
Yesterday I came home and found a package lying on the steps of the stairs.
You will have to know that for whatever reason we have the tiniest mailboxes in the whole wide world. Everything that's even slightly bigger than a normal letter doesn't fit in, so it either sticks out for every stranger to steal it or the postman has to get inside and put it somewhere on the stairs.
The package came from Caitlin and inside were three mix CDs she made and sent me. I got the 'Bad Boyfriend'-mix and the 'Caitlin's Trip To Germany'-mix and another mix made especially for me.
Again, it's all ME, ME, ME!
They are so great. I can see now that we share a very similar taste for music since on every CD there are several tracks that I know and love.
Thanks again, Caitlin, I'm more than thrilled.
And, of course, there will be a mix in the make very soon. Or maybe two.
You will have to know that for whatever reason we have the tiniest mailboxes in the whole wide world. Everything that's even slightly bigger than a normal letter doesn't fit in, so it either sticks out for every stranger to steal it or the postman has to get inside and put it somewhere on the stairs.
The package came from Caitlin and inside were three mix CDs she made and sent me. I got the 'Bad Boyfriend'-mix and the 'Caitlin's Trip To Germany'-mix and another mix made especially for me.
Again, it's all ME, ME, ME!
They are so great. I can see now that we share a very similar taste for music since on every CD there are several tracks that I know and love.
Thanks again, Caitlin, I'm more than thrilled.
And, of course, there will be a mix in the make very soon. Or maybe two.
What Shall Jamie Read? - Update
The Dogs of Babel... Check.
The Eyre Affair... Working on it.
Wicked... On order.
Thanks to Brandon I ordered Wicked today. It was his favorite book of 2004, and since it was on my list I felt I had no choice but to go to amazon and secretly put it in my cart, then hurry to the check-out and be gone before anybody could see me and say: 'Hey, isn't there still a big fat minus preceding the numbers on your bank account?'
By the way, I made Andreas buy a copy of The Eyre Affair, too. I let him read the description of the back cover and then read a few quotes ('Yes, yes, and Midsummer Night's Dream with chainsaws.') to him and before he knew what he was doing he left the bookstore with a copy in his hands. He told me that I stink, but I can live with that. Spreading literary fun all over the place.
Also, I checked out Powell's 2005 Puddly Awards. Again, it's Brandon who sent me there. I don't know if I even have a chance to win since I am not a citizen of the US, but I sent in my vote anyway.
I voted for 'The Time-Traveler's Wife', because in many ways it was the book that got me most. I can't remember crying over a book like I did with this one.
I also took a look at the books who won the 2004 Puddly Award and I was amazed to see that of the top ten books I have read seven. Seven!
Then again, of the top 50 books I have read only 12, so I wondered: Do I have a great taste in books or am I just plain mainstream and read only what everybody else reads?
I would like to say great taste, but I'm not so sure.
The Eyre Affair... Working on it.
Wicked... On order.
Thanks to Brandon I ordered Wicked today. It was his favorite book of 2004, and since it was on my list I felt I had no choice but to go to amazon and secretly put it in my cart, then hurry to the check-out and be gone before anybody could see me and say: 'Hey, isn't there still a big fat minus preceding the numbers on your bank account?'
By the way, I made Andreas buy a copy of The Eyre Affair, too. I let him read the description of the back cover and then read a few quotes ('Yes, yes, and Midsummer Night's Dream with chainsaws.') to him and before he knew what he was doing he left the bookstore with a copy in his hands. He told me that I stink, but I can live with that. Spreading literary fun all over the place.
Also, I checked out Powell's 2005 Puddly Awards. Again, it's Brandon who sent me there. I don't know if I even have a chance to win since I am not a citizen of the US, but I sent in my vote anyway.
I voted for 'The Time-Traveler's Wife', because in many ways it was the book that got me most. I can't remember crying over a book like I did with this one.
I also took a look at the books who won the 2004 Puddly Award and I was amazed to see that of the top ten books I have read seven. Seven!
Then again, of the top 50 books I have read only 12, so I wondered: Do I have a great taste in books or am I just plain mainstream and read only what everybody else reads?
I would like to say great taste, but I'm not so sure.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Everybody Needs Some Change
I decided to change the design of my blog. I'm currently working on it, and the best I can say is that most of it works.
I couldn't get haloscan to work yet, but everything will be fine real soon.
Hope you like the new world.
Update: I'm done for today. Everything is working, so I'll work on the details tomorrow.
I couldn't get haloscan to work yet, but everything will be fine real soon.
Hope you like the new world.
Update: I'm done for today. Everything is working, so I'll work on the details tomorrow.
I Try To Take It As A Compliment, But It's Really Hard
I just don't know what to make of this.
When I came back from work the boyfriend met with me and we went to eat turkish fast food and did some grocery shopping afterwards. We had four items: milk, some instant pasta thing and two bottles of beer.
I then had to go through the following dialogue with the nice lady at the cashier:
She: Can I see your ID, please?
Me: Excuse me?
She: Your ID, please?
Me: My ID?
She: Yes.
Me: Because of what? The beers?
She: Yes, can I see it?
Me: I'm (fuckin') 24! (I didn't say fucking, but the tone pretty much included it.)
She: Yeah, I need to see it.
Me (showing the ID): Please go on.
She: We have to these days, you know.
Me: I understand. It's okay.
It really isn't.
For some reason I feel offended because she wanted to see my ID. I'm 24, for crying out loud. I can officially drink beer for more than six years now. I'm an adult. I'm a real long way from non-drinking age.
Now honestly, do I look like I could be under 18?
I took that picture about 10 minutes ago, so it shows pretty much what the nice lady at the grocery shop saw. It's not a great picture, but that's how I look right now.
Yes, I'm officially grown up.
For some reason, the boyfriend was even more pissed than I was. I mean, I tried to take the whole 'looking-younger-than-you-are' as a compliment, but I'm not old enough for that yet. At all.
Apart from that, the beers weren't even for me. They're for the boyfriend only. I don't even like beer.
I could drink it, though and it'd be fucking legal.
When I came back from work the boyfriend met with me and we went to eat turkish fast food and did some grocery shopping afterwards. We had four items: milk, some instant pasta thing and two bottles of beer.
I then had to go through the following dialogue with the nice lady at the cashier:
She: Can I see your ID, please?
Me: Excuse me?
She: Your ID, please?
Me: My ID?
She: Yes.
Me: Because of what? The beers?
She: Yes, can I see it?
Me: I'm (fuckin') 24! (I didn't say fucking, but the tone pretty much included it.)
She: Yeah, I need to see it.
Me (showing the ID): Please go on.
She: We have to these days, you know.
Me: I understand. It's okay.
It really isn't.
For some reason I feel offended because she wanted to see my ID. I'm 24, for crying out loud. I can officially drink beer for more than six years now. I'm an adult. I'm a real long way from non-drinking age.
Now honestly, do I look like I could be under 18?
I took that picture about 10 minutes ago, so it shows pretty much what the nice lady at the grocery shop saw. It's not a great picture, but that's how I look right now.
Yes, I'm officially grown up.
For some reason, the boyfriend was even more pissed than I was. I mean, I tried to take the whole 'looking-younger-than-you-are' as a compliment, but I'm not old enough for that yet. At all.
Apart from that, the beers weren't even for me. They're for the boyfriend only. I don't even like beer.
I could drink it, though and it'd be fucking legal.
More Culture On Its Way
According to four mails I just got from dvdsoon.com my Wonderfalls DVDs have been shipped. According to my account on their website it's still in packaging.
I'm a little confused about the fact that they send me four emails with the same content, so I'm not really sure what to make of it.
What I know is that I really want the DVDs to arrive here as soon as possible.
So, I choose to believe that the emails are right and my account is wrong.
I'm a little confused about the fact that they send me four emails with the same content, so I'm not really sure what to make of it.
What I know is that I really want the DVDs to arrive here as soon as possible.
So, I choose to believe that the emails are right and my account is wrong.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Ask Jamie: How Jamie Met The Boyfriend
Caitlin asked: My next getting to know you question was going to be about the meeting and falling in love of pi.
Let's make a long story short: University. Trip. Paris.
You want more? Okay, you shall get more...
I met the boyfriend the first time shortly after I started studying in fall 1999. That reminds me: Did I ever tell you what far-from-reality subjects I chose at university? I guess not. When I started I was a student at the departments for musicology, American language and literature and folklore studies.
Yeah.
When I quit I was a student at the departments for musicology, art history and sociology.
No wonder I never went for a degree.
The boyfriend was a student at the department for musicology (among others), so guess where we met.
Although I remember I liked him from the start and he says he did so, too, he prefers to start telling our story with the small and totally unimportant incident where I bitched at him.
Only I didn't really bitch at him. Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't mean to.
Additionally to being a student there he worked at the department for musicology. He was doing a weekend workshop for one of the classes I went to and one day when the class was over he asked me if I would like to come to the workshop on Saturday.
My response was: 'Yeah, like I'm going to spend two hours in the train on a Saturday just for that workshop.'
Maybe I bitched a little.
Nevertheless we seemed to like each other. Looking back I would even say that I was unnaturally attracted to him despite being in a relationship with someone who lived on the other side of the ocean.
Then came Paris. It was a student's weekend trip to the City of Love in late January 2000. I told the boyfriend that I would be going and he said he was thinking of going, too, but didn't know if he could make it.
When I was waiting outside the department on Friday afternoon I was - again unnaturally - happy to see that he indeed had decided to come to Paris.
From the moment we got into the car we were pretty much inseparable. I don't really know why or how, but we were. We took turns in driving (only I didn't drive) and the moment it was his turn to drive it was clear that I would be the front-seat passenger.
As for the trip, it was pretty much one of the best trips I ever had. Pure fun, great people and the unnatural tension going on between the boyfriend and me, it was just amazing.
The boyfriend and I, of course, were inseperable during the whole trip. Whenever the group splitted, we weren't. We saw Montmartre, went up the Tour Eiffel and to a big flea market in the north. Somehow our sticking together despite even knowing each other was never questioned.
Saturday evening was weird. We roamed through the streets drinking wine like stupid teenagers and I drank too much. As in way too much. Pretty much the last thing I remember is sitting in some café with the video to Paul Simon's Concert in the Park playing soundless in the background. See, Paul Simon I remember. I even know what concert it was. I can't really tell you, though, if it was really soundless, because my senses were pretty blurry already. Everything that happened between that and the moment the boyfriend brought me back to the youth hostel where I could puke heartily into the sink I know from what the boyfriend told me. I have snippets of memories, but they're not really nice and they're all pretty confusing.
But what could be a better sign of love than cleaning up the toilet in a restaurant after someone you hardly know has lost most of last week's meals in it?
(Needless to say, the last two paragraphs are not necessarily the parts of the story I am particularly proud of.)
While I was still in the bathroom, he had climbed up the ladder to my bed and when I came out I did so, too, and we ended up hugging and kissing.
Paris, after all, is the City of Love. It worked for us.
When we got back it got a little bit complicated. We were both in a relationship with someone else and we both had to figure out what we were going to do. All the time between January and May it was unclear what was going to happen with us, but in the end, we both ended what was before and have been together (and pretty much inseperable) ever since.
Unlike other couples we don't have a date. You could take the Paris trip as our date, but since it took us some time to finally decide what we were going to do, we weren't a 'real couple' until early summer.
But, do you really need a date? I think not.
The love makes up for all.
Question answered?
Let's make a long story short: University. Trip. Paris.
You want more? Okay, you shall get more...
I met the boyfriend the first time shortly after I started studying in fall 1999. That reminds me: Did I ever tell you what far-from-reality subjects I chose at university? I guess not. When I started I was a student at the departments for musicology, American language and literature and folklore studies.
Yeah.
When I quit I was a student at the departments for musicology, art history and sociology.
No wonder I never went for a degree.
The boyfriend was a student at the department for musicology (among others), so guess where we met.
Although I remember I liked him from the start and he says he did so, too, he prefers to start telling our story with the small and totally unimportant incident where I bitched at him.
Only I didn't really bitch at him. Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't mean to.
Additionally to being a student there he worked at the department for musicology. He was doing a weekend workshop for one of the classes I went to and one day when the class was over he asked me if I would like to come to the workshop on Saturday.
My response was: 'Yeah, like I'm going to spend two hours in the train on a Saturday just for that workshop.'
Maybe I bitched a little.
Nevertheless we seemed to like each other. Looking back I would even say that I was unnaturally attracted to him despite being in a relationship with someone who lived on the other side of the ocean.
Then came Paris. It was a student's weekend trip to the City of Love in late January 2000. I told the boyfriend that I would be going and he said he was thinking of going, too, but didn't know if he could make it.
When I was waiting outside the department on Friday afternoon I was - again unnaturally - happy to see that he indeed had decided to come to Paris.
From the moment we got into the car we were pretty much inseparable. I don't really know why or how, but we were. We took turns in driving (only I didn't drive) and the moment it was his turn to drive it was clear that I would be the front-seat passenger.
As for the trip, it was pretty much one of the best trips I ever had. Pure fun, great people and the unnatural tension going on between the boyfriend and me, it was just amazing.
The boyfriend and I, of course, were inseperable during the whole trip. Whenever the group splitted, we weren't. We saw Montmartre, went up the Tour Eiffel and to a big flea market in the north. Somehow our sticking together despite even knowing each other was never questioned.
Saturday evening was weird. We roamed through the streets drinking wine like stupid teenagers and I drank too much. As in way too much. Pretty much the last thing I remember is sitting in some café with the video to Paul Simon's Concert in the Park playing soundless in the background. See, Paul Simon I remember. I even know what concert it was. I can't really tell you, though, if it was really soundless, because my senses were pretty blurry already. Everything that happened between that and the moment the boyfriend brought me back to the youth hostel where I could puke heartily into the sink I know from what the boyfriend told me. I have snippets of memories, but they're not really nice and they're all pretty confusing.
But what could be a better sign of love than cleaning up the toilet in a restaurant after someone you hardly know has lost most of last week's meals in it?
(Needless to say, the last two paragraphs are not necessarily the parts of the story I am particularly proud of.)
While I was still in the bathroom, he had climbed up the ladder to my bed and when I came out I did so, too, and we ended up hugging and kissing.
Paris, after all, is the City of Love. It worked for us.
When we got back it got a little bit complicated. We were both in a relationship with someone else and we both had to figure out what we were going to do. All the time between January and May it was unclear what was going to happen with us, but in the end, we both ended what was before and have been together (and pretty much inseperable) ever since.
Unlike other couples we don't have a date. You could take the Paris trip as our date, but since it took us some time to finally decide what we were going to do, we weren't a 'real couple' until early summer.
But, do you really need a date? I think not.
The love makes up for all.
Question answered?
What Is It That My Mind Wants To Tell Me?
Time for some dream analyzing. If the following isn't enough for you, you can go check out Sarcomical's dream and analyze hers, too.
But mine first:
The night before last night I dreamt I was at the Cologne main station with the boyfriend. I was coming from work and we wanted to get home. For some reason he was already on a train and I was still hanging around the station.
(Side note: I notice that about 99% of what happens in my dreams doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. Why did he take the train without me? I have no idea. It was not a subject to discuss in my dream.)
So I looked at a clock and it was nearly 1 am. So I tried to figure out at what time approximately I would be home if I took the next train and I thought something like: 'Well, I would be home around 2 am... I have to get up at 6 am, so that gives me about 4 hours of sleep. Ah, what the heck, I'm just going back to work and stay there over night.'
Yeah, that's what I did in my dream. I went back to work to stay over night. What the fuck was wrong with my dream-me? One of my bosses was still there (just for the record, it's still in the middle of the night), but was getting ready to leave and asked me if I planned on leaving with him, too. I thought everything through again and then thought something like: 'At least I could sleep in my own bed with the boyfriend. Ah, what the heck, I'll just go home.'
But then somehow Andreas was there, too and he told me that he planned to stay over night as well. So at least I wouldn't be alone. He also said that he wanted to get Ben & Jerry's ice-cream, so that he would have something to do.
That's pretty much the end of my dream. There are other things I remember, but they're really blurry, so I won't bother to try to put them down in words. It would only get confusing.
I'm still strangely irritated by that dream. After all, I kind of like those dreams, because despite confusing me a lot they're also somewhat funny.
Now, go ahead and analyze me!
But mine first:
The night before last night I dreamt I was at the Cologne main station with the boyfriend. I was coming from work and we wanted to get home. For some reason he was already on a train and I was still hanging around the station.
(Side note: I notice that about 99% of what happens in my dreams doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. Why did he take the train without me? I have no idea. It was not a subject to discuss in my dream.)
So I looked at a clock and it was nearly 1 am. So I tried to figure out at what time approximately I would be home if I took the next train and I thought something like: 'Well, I would be home around 2 am... I have to get up at 6 am, so that gives me about 4 hours of sleep. Ah, what the heck, I'm just going back to work and stay there over night.'
Yeah, that's what I did in my dream. I went back to work to stay over night. What the fuck was wrong with my dream-me? One of my bosses was still there (just for the record, it's still in the middle of the night), but was getting ready to leave and asked me if I planned on leaving with him, too. I thought everything through again and then thought something like: 'At least I could sleep in my own bed with the boyfriend. Ah, what the heck, I'll just go home.'
But then somehow Andreas was there, too and he told me that he planned to stay over night as well. So at least I wouldn't be alone. He also said that he wanted to get Ben & Jerry's ice-cream, so that he would have something to do.
That's pretty much the end of my dream. There are other things I remember, but they're really blurry, so I won't bother to try to put them down in words. It would only get confusing.
I'm still strangely irritated by that dream. After all, I kind of like those dreams, because despite confusing me a lot they're also somewhat funny.
Now, go ahead and analyze me!
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