Reason For Post Below

See for yourself.



It's my last day at work tomorrow, so I figured I had to bake a cake. And that's the one I chose.

Things I Always Wanted To Do When I Was A Kid, Yet Have Never Done Now That I'm Grown Up

Make a whole bowl of cookie/cake dough and eat it raw

Do you remember how as a kid (and even now) the best of making cookies or baking a cake was always when you could eat the rest of the raw dough from the bowl? As a kid I always thought that once I was old enough to do whatever I wanted I would just make a whole bowl of dough and just eat it.

Why do I never do that? It wouldn't even be expensive and I'd probably feel so sick afterwards that I'd be cured of that insane wish.

Ah, and don't tell me about salmonellae. Been there, had them, survived. So that trick doesn't do it for me.

Anime Weather

Snowflakes dancing outside the window while the sun is shining.
And we're going to Bonn to find a tenant who actually is willing to pay the rent.

If I had more time I would have made the first sentence a haiku. But we gotta run.

PS: What's anime weather? If somebody wants to know, I'll tell you. Tonight.

The Pessimistic Optimist

Me: Well, I'm not that optimistic.

Andreas: Oh, come on, you're one of those glass-half-full types.

Me: Yeah, well, the glass is only half full.

Those Moments When I'm Old

Every once in a while I read the blog of Caitlin's little cousin Justine who just started college and is away from home and on her own for the first time and it makes me remember the days when I, well, started to grow up.

It's a strange phase.

I think it's mostly the years between (approximately) 16 and 20 when you suddenly discover new things in your life. I started to read 'adult' books, went to see old black and white movies at the cinema or taped pretty much every independent movie they showed. I started to develop my taste in music and basically... yeah, I thought I was cool. In an intellectual way, but still. There was a time in life when watching 'Jules et Jim' and listening to Paula Cole and liking it made me an adult.

Except that it didn't.

Looking back I think that maybe it's also the time when we are most deceived by ourselves. The strange years between a sheltered home and our first well-paid job, when we think that we must be grown-up now because we are not children anymore, when we think that we know the world and most of all who we are.

Looking back on who I was then I knowingly smile at that girl who didn't have a clue about the world. But maybe that was the reason why she was so damn happy back then. She lived a lovely lie that didn't harm anyone, expecially since everyone around lived the same lovely 'I-go-to-university-therefore-I-am-grown-up' lie.

Looking in the mirror at who I am now I feel forever wise and forever stupid at the same time.
Forever wise because the last years were full of real life crap. Crap that I had to put up. Crap that made me miserable. Crap that made me angry at the world. Crap that made me cry. Crap that made me afraid. But, most of all, crap that made me strong and a tiny little bit wiser.
Forever stupid because I grow more aware of all the mistakes I have made and of all the things that I thought back then that turned out to be just wrong. Stupid also, because as I grow older I understand that there will always be more to not know than to know.

I remember an incident when I still lived in Bonn. I was sitting in the streetcar on my way to the station and there were a bunch of teenage kids sitting all around me, throwing things around. When one of the boys nearly hit me with whatever that was (nothing dangerous anyway) a girl shouted at him: 'You nearly hit the woman!'

I was only in my early twenties, but I was a woman to them. I was officially another generation. In other words: old.

Another Proof That I'm Oh-So-Smart

Yesterday I went shopping (without the boyfriend I might add) and I totally did NOT forget to buy q-tips and toilet paper. That just makes me incredibly smart, doesn't it?

No seriously, do you know that, too, when there's something in your household that you don't need to buy very often like toilet paper, toothpicks or salt for example and then when you run out of it you forget to buy it over and over and over again? Because it happens to me all the time.

I was short of salt for a couple of weeks because every damn time I was at the supermarket I forgot to buy some since I only need to buy a new package about twice a year or so. And you can't remember my happiness (and inner pride) when I finally managed to remember to buy some and I didn't have to be stingy with salt anymore.

Still I'm afraid that we might run out of matches soon.

Thursday Fun: The Case is Open

Are you comfortable? If not, make yourself so, please. There's no way you're not sitting comfortable and relaxed while enjoying the view into today's candidate shelf #2.

Here it comes. (Rolling drums. Applause.)



We do have a lot of video tapes. And most of them are mine. See the nice and accurate printed labels. Yeah, I did them. They were even in the right order when I still lived in Bonn, but when we unpacked them here we just stuck them in the shelves without caring for the right order. So I don't really like it when I need to find a particular movie.

Shelf #2 therefore has many twin brothers and sisters. They will all be featured in time. So stay tuned.

I Want To Send You All a Copy

Sometimes I wonder how I stumble upon new music, because I rarely listen to the radio and besides the music that I discover isn't on the playlists (at least I don't think, for how could I know for sure, since I don't listen to it).

However I do stumble upon wonderful new music once in a while and I'm so happy that I want to send you all a copy of Keren Ann's Not Going Anywhere.

But since the number on my bank account is still only three-digit, I don't think I can send you all a copy.

So you have to buy it yourself. And you have the warmestest(est) advice from me to so soon.

Keren Ann's homepage (in French, though)

Have I Told You Lately?

Have I told you lately about my intense and deep admiration for Mr Randy Newman? The man is just great.

I have nothing more to add. I just wanted to share another fun fact about the strangeness that is me. There you got it: I adore Randy Newman.

Dizzy-Headed Girl With a List

I can't wait for the time when I can have clear thoughts again and am not absorbed in what-ifs and how-will-it-bes and am-I-up-to-its.

My head feels so dizzy with all kinds of strange thoughts I haven't ever had before or at least not to this extent. I want a clear head. As soon as possible, if you please.

So far my feeble excuse for not writing that long and interesting blog entries the last few days.

But I have done this. That's my very not-accurate list of the books I've read. I do remember all of 2005, but the complete list of 2004 has escaped my porous memory and 2003 is mostly a compilation of my amazon orders and what I found in our bookcases. I hope it's incomplete, because I really should have read more.

You can always reach the list via the cute little blue button you see in the sidebar. The one that says WHAT I READ. Obviously.

And now I need to add 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' to the list while listening to Coralie Clement. I seem to surround myself with French things lately.

Random Thoughts

If I ever have a serious nervous breakdown I'm going to be just like Monk.
Only dumber.

I wish I was kidding.

Down Memory Lane: Friendship

The summer I was nine we were on vacation in (guess where) France. To be more precise, my mom, my aunt, my cousin, a friend of my cousin's and me were staying at a camping place close to Les Sables d'Olonne at the Atlantic coast.

One day we were making a day trip to some nearby salines. You could make guided boat trips through the salines and we got our tickets and waited in front of the little house for our boat to leave.

Waiting in front of the house, sitting on a little bench was a mother with her two daughters. They also were German, although I don't know exactly how we found out. I guess it was just the usual hearing your own language in a foreign country things that occasionally draws us tourists together.

One of the girls was my age the other one a little younger. When my mom tells the story of how Kathring and I met she always says: 'They didn't talk for a minute. Actually they pretty much only exchanged their addresses.'
That's half true. I got her address first. What made me do it? I have no idea, really. We didn't know each other, we really hadn't talked for more than a few minutes, but it was enough for me to decide to write her address down on a postcard that I had with me. With two bears on the front. I may still have it somewhere, Kathrin's address written in big girly handwriting.

Then our boats arrived. They were on another boat, one that left a little bit earlier but was in view all the time during the trip. I don't remember much of the actual salines. As far as I know it was pretty boring and not really worth the money. It was salt.

When we got back to solid ground Kathrin and her family was waiting for us. She had decided she wanted to get my address, too and write it down.

I even remember part of the dialogue. I was telling her the name of my street (which was a little strange, I admit) and she asked 'New word?'
'What?' I said.
'New word?'
I had no idea what she was talking about. Somehow I was wondering if she was asking me if that was a new word for her. Well how was I supposed to know?
She only wanted to know if the name of street was one long word or two separate ones, but it took me some time to figure that out.

Then we got back to our tents.

I received my first postcard from Kathrin shortly after we got home. They were staying in France longer than we were, and she wrote me a postcard from whereever they were.

It took us about five letters back and forth to find out that we were born on the same day. We are 19 hours and 51 minutes apart, born on the same day, Kathrin in early morning, I shortly after the evening news.

We both took piano lessons for year. We both started and stopped learning the clarinet. We both loved Disney comics.

Now, of course there are things that we don't have in common, but there are more things that we share. My father used to remark that we were together we could spend hours sitting in my room without talking. Both of us doing something separately, but none of us bored with the other.

Eventually and strangely enough I think it coincides with the coming up of email the frequent exchange of letters ceased a little. After high school, she went to Portugal for half a year, then she moved to Cologne because of university. I haven't seen her as often as I thought I might after she moved here, but then again it's really not the point.

There are those friends with whom it doesn't matter for how long you haven't seen them or even talked to them. Somewhen they ring you up and ask if you'd like to meet them and of course you do, and when you do it's like nothing has changed. Sure, your life has changed a bit and hers, too. But I haven't and she hasn't. Of all friendships these are the best. Because they make you feel safe.

Last summer she wrote a mail asking me if I would like to come with her to the Simon & Garfunkel reunion tour. Yes! I mean yes, yes, YES! She got the tickets and we shared that event together. Some weeks later I met her for Starbucks coffee and cake and a few weeks later she went off to Paris where she will be for another few months studying abroad.

I just recently got a long email from her, sent to all her friends, telling us about life in Paris.

Which reminds me. I gotta write her back.

Over the Rhine / Morning Wonders

The last days whenever my streetcar drove over the Rhine I looked very closely at the water level. It's high water time again.

Last week the water came close to the edge of the walls that keep the river in its course. There was about one meter between the water level and the riverside walk. From what I read a few camping grounds were flooded, but no major damage was done. I also read that according to forecasts the water level is going to lower again and Cologne's old town won't be flooded like it has been so many times.

Today I took another route to go to work. I got off the train a station earlier and took a different streetcar that goes over Mülheimer Brücke instead of Severinsbrücke. The riverside there isn't limited by concrete walls, but at least to the one side there are meadows stretching out. So I could still see that the Rhine has indeed risen a lot, since a lot of trees were halfway underwater. I wish I had my camera with me, so I could show you. It looks odd, strange, but also fascinating.

It reminds me of the time when we were living in Cologne and my school was really close to the Rhine. The one year when the water rose so high that a lot of people who lived close to the river had to move to the second floor of their houses because the water was flowing through the first floor I kind of hoped it would rise so high that the school had to be closed. That never happened. I still remember that year, though.

My grandfather remembers the year when it was so cold in winter that the Rhine froze over and you could go ice-skating on the river. Then again, my grandfather was born in 1911.

Unconscious Mutterings - A More Cultural Approach

1. Dirty work - Not me.
   
2. Shopkeeper - Also. Not me.
   
3. Goodness - 'Unless' by Carol Shields.
   
4. Yearning - How the heart approaches what it yearns (Paul Simon). It's also a very nice word.
   
5. Show and tell - Not so common in Germany.
   
6. Trapped - Trapdoor. Basement. Dark.
   
7. Malcolm - in the Middle.
   
8. Season - Spring is my favorite. And it should be here soon.
   
9. Bestseller - Not an indicator for quality.
   
10. Desk - What I'm sitting at right now. Has to be tidy so I can work.
    

Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun... just click here.

The Others: Just Listen

It's really late and I want to go to bed, but since I'm kind of addicted to my blog I won't let myself get away without doing the weekly introduction of one of my blogrolled blogs.

But because I'm a little bit tired and had a glass of wine I chose a blog that I think will not take me too long to make you visit (or not). I hope you DO visit the blogs I recommend, for one thing I try really hard to find the right words for each blog, and after all they ARE worth it. Believe me.

So, here's this evening's go-and-see-yourself blog Womenfolk:

The good thing about this blog is that it is really devoted to one subject, so it is (for once) quite easy for me to write about it. I don't even know who runs the blog, I just know it's a him and that he shares something with me: our love for female musicians. We really do have a similar taste in music, so I can be pretty sure that I will like if not love every new musician he introduces to me and hopefully to you, too.

It's an mp3-blog which means that the most recent entries provide downloadable mp3-files. Unfortunately the older entries don't feature mp3-files anymore, but you can still read about all the great artists and check out their websites or whatever else there is.

I highly recommend this blog to anyone interested in music in general and female musicians in particular (yes, Caitlin, I am looking at you, metaphorically speaking).

Just check it out and listen to some really good and at most times independent music. I've never been disappointed with that guy's taste in music.

Shoo. Go.

Word of Advice, Take a Nap

I felt crappy and unhappy all day long. I woke up with cramps and stomach aches that wouldn't go away, but only for short time periods and just to come back again when I just got comfortable.

Then I couldn't bring myself to do anything useful, so I just managed to write a few emails in response to your comments and then retreat to the livingroom to watch 'Wonderfalls'. I also finished 'Wicked' today, so I need a new book soon. What's the next one on my list...?

Then I did the wisest thing I possibly could have done and took a nap on the couch. Only I didn't know it was wise back then, I thought it was mostly a stupid lazy thing because I didn't know what else I could do.

The boyfriend woke me up, because my aunt had called and wanted to talk to me. She asked me about my results of my exams and about that new job I am taking and invited us for dinner in a few weeks. That actually cheered me up a lot, so when I hung up the day didn't feel so crappy anymore. I also didn't feel so sick anymore, so as far as I can tell the nap really WAS refreshing and helpful. I'm actually ready to go out for dinner tonight, despite my working on a clever strategy to avoid it the whole day (until I took a nap).

So, I'm refreshed and relaxed and actually kind of happy now. I hope the feeling stays a little longer.

Now, excuse me while I go change. I'm just wearing a cardigan that I seem to love so much that I share my food with it. Constantly. As much as I love it, I surely can't be seen in public wearing it.

Things To Keep You Occupied

Yesterday I fell asleep at 10 pm. This whole week has sucked all life out of me and it's all taking its toll on the weekend.

Yeah, so anyway, I am still too exhausted to write great blog entries.

I'll keep you occupied with new pictures instead. And, oh wonder, this time it's not about me but about the other one who lives here aka the boyfriend.

Here comes one of my recent favorites, just because it's amazingly cute AND features the weasel.



Now here's one I took today when he decided he needed a nap between reading his book. He looked so peaceful that I had to take a picture.



Also, here's what I got for Valentine's day.




So, I hope I have supplied you with enough material to marvel about for the next few minutes, as I have to do some important business and read 'Wicked'.
This book is just too good. No wonder I don't have time to blog. Or write emails. Or eat.

Milestone

I signed the new contract last evening.
I will drop it by the new company after work.

It feels strange. Not bad strange, just strange.

Thursday Fun: The Case is Open

I decided to let you all have a look into our livingroom bookcases. One shelf a week. Go, make of it what you want. Or decide that it's just boring and get over it. I can't be pure wit, fun and perfection 24/7. Not even 17/7 which is about the time I am actually awake.


Now please marvel over shelf #1


Most of these books are the boyfriend's. Actually I think ALL of them are. And there's a burnt-down candle and all those now burnt-down scented candles Natascha gave me for my birthday. Aren't they cute? And they smelled great, too. I wish they would still sell them.

Tune in next week to see the fantastic shelf #2.

Oh Bliss, Pure Bliss!

When I said it was a pretty crappy day I forgot something that happened this morning. This will prove my ability to be joyful and giddy over small things and also my ability to make a total fuss about something totally unimportant. I don't really care.
At least I think that DeAnn will understand.

I turned on my computer at work and started my usual morning round checking out all the pages that might have interesting news for me.
One of them is serienjunkies.de, a German site with news about TV shows. While I was checking it out Andreas asked if I had seen the news on tvshowsondvd.com yet and his face literally lighted up.
So I immediately checked the site.

I saw the first news and I squealed.

Then I looked further and discovered the second news and squealed even louder. I squealed. In the office. With other people present. And even more people present behind that stupid room divider, but I don't know them so they don't really exist.

I squealed and cheered because they're releasing Earth 2 on DVD.

I'm so very happy, I can't tell you.

And no, I'm not ashamed because I can find bliss in the news that a TV show is released this year. If the rumors are true that is.

By the way, the first news that made me squeal was that they are also releasing Joan of Arcadia, supposedly in May.

So, the day after all wasn't a complete disaster.