I'm With Emily On That One

I so need this poster. But I need it more like a blind that I can pull the cord to every now and then. Or if I have to take the poster I would hang it somewhere near me at work or at home and simply point to it without saying anything.



It's not even that I don't like people. I'm just not alone enough those last days.

Also, I just love that poster.
I said I need it more like a joke, but every time I look at it my tiny little heart years for it a little more. I just don't know where I could put it. Maybe I could make a dress out of it and just wear it.

But then again, I already want that 'I'm With Stupid' shirt. And that 'Do I Look Like I Care' shirt. And this one, for some strange reason.


PS: I think I wanted this entry to go somewhere, but I got lost somewhere on the road because all this cool stuff I want was lying around.

Does My Heart Know More Than My Head?

I start wondering whether I've already made my decision concerning the job situation. Maybe that's a little bit pushy, since I haven't heard the magical words 'You're hired' yet, but I need to think about it in case it really happens.

All the signs say that I want to take the new job. I'm constantly watching arte and have seen documentaries about some Taoists in China, gold-digging in Siberia, comic superheroes and the German elite boarding school Salem, all in French. I haven't ever watched arte before.

I also carry around my old Grammaire explicative (together with exercises and answers) wherever I go in case a sudden lust for French grammar takes possession of me.

I also think about refreshing and expanding my JavaScript and XML knowledge and have the first 80 pages of a printed out JavaScript ebook in my purse.

All these little things make me wonder whether I have already decided but somehow forgot to tell myself.

So, here's to my heart: Precious one, please let me know. Do you already know what I want? Because it would be nice to know what I want. Just this once.

Unconscious Mutterings - As Good As It Gets

1. Shelter - Care
2. Karate Kid - Samurai Pizza Cats. (If you need more prove that my mind works strange ways, I can't help you. That's about as good as I get.)
3. Andrew - Lloyd Webber. Ouch.
4. Rib - Broken. Not me, though.
5. Push it - Where? What? Okay.
6. Creep - Scare
7. Chainlink - Yeah. Whatever.
8. Squash - Badminton in a box. Who ever did come up with that?
9. No mercy - Not me. Again.
10. Superhero - The arte documentary on comic superheroes I watched today. In French.

Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun... just click here.

The Others: Candies From Belgium

A few of my closest relatives, namely my mom, my grandmother and one of my countless aunts share their lust after the very famous Belgian Leonidas pralinés. Yes, I do, too. Especially the white ones with the coffee-cream-filling the nougat layer and the nut on top. They're my mom's favorites, so somehow they are mine, too.

You can only imagine my joy to introduce to you another candy from Belgium, though a very unique with a name and blog.

Let me introduce you to Cecilia of Clearcandy Daily!

I don't remember how I first came in touch with Cecilia's blog. I guess it was over Blogexplosion, but I can't tell for sure. In any way her blog was one of those that stuck out, in both visual and literal style.

Cecilia must be one of the sweetest things in the blogosphere. Her comments are always heart-breakingly cute and so are her answers to your comment on her blog. So are not afraid to leave your comment on Clearcandy Daily, you will be welcomed and hugged.

Right after her fondness for candy, Cecilia has a fondness for words. As far as I know English isn't her native language, but I always wonder if I could be wrong, since her entries are so well-written and carefully woven. It's a joy to read them, even those who deal with the pain and anger she currently feels while going through a breakup not expected. Another reason, by the way, to go there and cheer this girl up. She more than deserves it.

Thanks for all your sweet comments, Cecilia, I did my best to return the sweetness.

And all you other readers, shoo. What are you waiting for? There's nothing to see here. So run to the chocolate fountain.

What Were You Thinking?

I originally signed up with statcounter because I wanted to make funny posts about what searches led other people to my blog. Looking at the little list statcounter gives me it's not so funny yet.

canelloni
canelloni by jamie
Whenever did I write about canelloni?
Enlighten me please.

boardgame shop barcelona
I remember writing about boardgames and about how I'd like to go to Barcelona, but there was no connection between the two subjects. Ever. I could tell you the address of a nice boardgame shop in Cologne though. Interested?

jamie affolk
I wonder who that was. The search came from Germany, so I would REALLY like to know, because there's a possibility he or she knows me. However I didn't register any visits from Germany since the search, so whoever it was either knew me and didn't realize that he surfed on my blog or he didn't know me and wasn't that interested in getting to know me after all.

anett louisan boheme mp3
Again with the music and again with the mp3s. I'm sorry, but no. Get her CD, it's great and you won't regret it. I'm also pleased to say that this search came from the US, although anett louisan both is and sings in German.

related:www.hotkarls.com
No, we're not. Or do you know something I don't?

wasp in the house kill
Repeat with me: We don't do that. We don't kill wasps. We really don't. Read my 100 Things for further information.

actionscript snow falling straight down
Go
here.

my ears pierced site:blogspot.com
Another combination of words I totally don't understand. What's with the colon? And no, I don't have my ears pierced. I have virgin earlobs. And I'm damn proud of it, although sometimes I wonder if I should get them pierced, so I can dangle pretty jewelry from them. But not any time soon.

shivaree boring who's got trouble
Now, if you thing it's boring, why are you searching for it anyway. And they're not, by the way. Really not.

jem mp3 finally woken blog
The word 'blog' somehow startles me. Because I do understand how the first four words go together, but the last one... How does that fit in?

jamie
Yep. Me. And a whole lot of other people. Did you really think that seach word would lead you to anything useful? Yeah, well, you know NOW.

back cover hang on little tomato
Do you recognize a pattern here? Obviously more than half of the search terms that lead people to my side are music related. The downside of this is that I doubt anyone will come back once they realize that I don't have what they are looking for. But you could just ask me. I could scan the back cover and send it to you via email. But no one ever asks me.

stina nordenstam live fasching
For all of you who don't know what this is about, because amazingly I do, Stina did a live concert in some club called Fasching and there are mp3s of her performing live somewhere on the web. And yes, I do have them. Only I really don't know where.

shivaree who's got trouble? mp3
As much as I would love to share my mp3s on my blog for my readers, as far as I know it's not legal, so I won't. I recommend you get the CD. Because Shivaree is always, always worth it.

wonderfalls music lyrics
Yeah, I like the theme song very much as well. And I think I searched for the lyrics before. They're not here, though. Sorry.

katell keineg lyrics
I don't have them either, despite the few that are printed in the booklet of 'O Seasons'. But there are some transcription on the web. I know because I've seen them. That's how I learned the lyrics to 'Gulf of Araby'. The chords were easy.

just jamie
That's... Sweet somehow. I just wonder what you really were searching for. After all, you got just jamie here.

world of jaime
Yeah, you spelled my name wrong. I don't care that it's not my real name, you still spelled it wrong. I also don't care if you weren't looking for me but someone called Jaime, because you STILL SPELLED MY NAME WRONG. Duh.

pink martini hang on lyrics translation
I always feel a little sorry when I see that people come to my site in search of something that isn't sick or scary or something of that kind and will leave my page disappointed.
If I knew somebody wanted translation to the lyrics I would have typed them down. Yes, I'll do pretty much anything to make someone read my blog.
On a side note, the translations are in the booklet, so I must assume whoever it was didn't actually buy the CD. What do I make of that?

jamie german girl
Those search words actually were typed in somewhere in Spain. At least that's what statcounter tells me. Hi, Spain person! I am here! Jamie, the German girl. You found me. Or maybe you meant someone else.

jamie beers fairy
I'd like to write something witty about that, but the combination is just too fucking strange for words. I already have images in my head about me sitting in a magic forest with a beer in one hand and a fairy circling above my head. Yeah. What were you thinking?

euphemism
I actually think that I made clear what euphemism is in that one post. If you were looking for an actual explanation, you were wrong, dear stranger.

cologne carnivale germany
Oh, sorry for that. You were actually interested in that, weren't you. I'm really and honestly sorry that you landed on the blog of the one person living here that hates Karneval. I might still post pictures, though, so you can come back then.

And Now, The Moment You Have All Been Waiting For

I registered at flickr.com and uploaded some photos.

I am too lazy now to all put them on display here with witty notes and stuff, so I'll just send you over to my photos at flickr for now.

Once the laziness is gone I will add pictures to this blog and actually tell them what they show, but definitely not now.

PS to Caitlin: I can't disprove that theory you wrote about. There are photos where I actually look good, but there surely are a lot more where I look scary.

The Second-Best Thing to Time-Travelling

Every once in a while, most likely on a lazy and probably rainy Sunday afternoon, I find myself in a state where I long back for those days when I was a teenager with nothing to worry about except things like 'Why am I never cool?', 'Which CD should I buy next?' or 'Will I ever have sex?'

No real worries compared to: 'Will I find a job that I actually like?' or 'How am I supposed to pay next months rent?'

It is these days when I watch movies like 'Wish Upon a Star' and 'Model Behavior' and enjoy them to an unnatural extent. You must click the links if you don't know any of these movies, because otherwise you won't understand the real meaning of the last sentence.

I only wish they would show 'Rags to Riches' again. I would be in heaven. (Sometimes the very early seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 would do, too. But I'm not gonna link to that. I still have some pride left.)

100 Things About Me

Update: I decided to finish the list. Now you can read the whole 100 things about me. Have fun and learn.

Yes, it seems to be protocol by now. But it also is kind of fun, so who am I to resist?

1. I have had 2 pseudonyms so far.
2. I like my first name but I'm not so fond of my last name.
3. I was partly raised by my grandparents. At least to me it feels like I was.
4. I skipped first grade.
5. My great-grandfather taught upright bass at the Cologne academy of music.
6. I had ten years of piano lessons and I can play really good.
7. I don't like to be pressured.
8. I'm still scared of one particular children's book. I'm so scared that I don't even dare to tell you which one.
9. I haven't even read it.
10. I just recently started to drink coffee.
11. I still only like coffee with a lot of additional syrup, milk and sugar.
12. I love languages. I wish I could speak more languages.
13. My childhood vacation memories are all connected to France.
14. I can sleep nearly everywhere. I'm very good at sleeping.
15. I stole a strawberry when I was in primary school.
16. I suck at any kind of sports. Always have, probably always will.
17. I'm deeply in love with the man I want to marry.
18. I already have picked our wedding day. Or at least the day I would like to be our wedding day.
19. I haven't figured out what I want to do yet. I feel overwhelmed by the possibilities and seem unable to pick one.
20. I can be very impatient with people.
21. I can be VERY patient with animals.
22. I am scared of death. Not particularly mine but death in general. I am extremely scared of losing people I love.
23. I have a stuffed weasel which I always hold in my hand when I fall asleep.
24. I have seen Paul Simon play live twice.
25. I was backstage with Beth Orton for approximately 10 minutes and had no idea what I should say.
26. I remember a lot of things.
27. I have a lot of childhood memories. I could draw you a ground plan of my kindergarten and tell you the names of all the teachers.
28. I have never been on TV. Although I was close twice.
29. I wasn't really popular in high school. In fact I was the opposite of popular.
30. Every guy I fell in love with was at least 10 years older than me.
31. I watch a lot of TV.
32. I was too scared to play System Shock 2. I had a friend play it for me.
33. I moved out when I was 19.
34. I play with my food.
35. I have been to the opera three (or four) times.
36. I have written three novels so far. They were all really bad.
37. I won our school's short story contest once. I entered two stories and they both won. The following year you were only allowed to enter one short story.
38. I had straight A+'s in math the last two years of high school.
39. I sometimes do math tasks from old schoolbooks to relax.
40. I hardly ever don't like a movie.
41. The magazines I buy regularly are: A cooking magazine, a games magazine, a style magazine and a TV magazine.
42. By regularly I mean every issue.
43. I was in a children's choir for about one year.
44. I love nearly everything of the Muppets.
45. I like to sort flyers and stuff when I'm waiting somewhere.
46. I was afraid of the Count von Count from Sesame Street when I was small (and - obviously - stupid).
47. I have never broken a bone in my life.
48. But I have broken a lot of glasses, plates, cups. I blame my lack of real 3D-sight.
49. I got my driver's license three days after my 18th birthday.
50. I seem to like Japanese cars.
51. I have a weak spot for Gilbert O'Sullivan.
52. I have been raised kind of catholic and have only good memories of it.
53. Yet I haven't been to church (with two exceptions) in years.
54. I like milk.
55. Theoretically I'm afraid of flying. Yet once I'm in a plane I am all giddy and excited.
56. I have a lot of hair. But it doesn't look like it.
57. Dogs have been my favorite animal since primary school.
58. I didn't like the second book of The Lord of the Rings. Most of the time I had no clue what was going on. (I liked the Ents though.)
59. I don't mind movies based on books. I hate it when people complain about how a movie wasn't at all like the book or that you could never make a movie based on a particular book. It's a book. It's a movie. They're different media. Deal with it.
60. I don't know how to operate the phone in the office. I can call and take calls. That's about it.
61. I can operate VCRs. I managed to program a completely unprogrammed VCR without any kind of manual. But since the remote to my VCR is broken I'm not able to program mine.
62. Three of my grandparents come from now Eastern Europe countries (namely Lithuania and Czechia). They're German though, they just lived there before the war.
63. I don't like crowds.
64. Dripping water faucets drive me crazy. Not regular crazy, but there-are-no-words crazy.
65. I'm not afraid of wasps, hornets and most other insects. In fact when there's a wasp in the house I don't kill but catch it and let it fly outside. I have done it with hornets as well.
66. Spiders are NOT insects. I would like to stress that.
67. When I'm drunk I'm either extremely giddy or extremely whiny. And you can do nothing about it.
68. I sleepwalked when I was a kid.
69. I believe in aliens. Not little green men. But I figure that since there's an indefinite number of planets out there, there must be life on some of them.
70. I read all the books of the 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' series several times.
71. I have low blood pressure. Not too low, just low.
72. Although I don't really believe in zodiac signs and what they say about one's personality I firmly believe that I am as Libra as Libra can be.
73. I don't usually hold grudges. But if I do, it's close to permanent.
74. I have really good teeth and I don't have to do anything for it. I know how lucky I am.
75. I have no allergies (at least not that I know of).
76. I am an orthography nerd. I like things to be spelled properly. Hence, the internet drives me crazy.
77. But I can live with that. What I can't live with is things being spelled wrong in books. Get it right, guys. You're getting paid for it.
78. I consider Diet Coke a very modern form of hypocrisy.
79. I would love to go to a Karaoke night, but I never have so far. Yes, I would sing.
80. Two of my grandaunts are nuns. I always wanted to know how their hair looked like when I was a kid.
81. According to everything I've read I'm going to get scaringly old.
82. I tend to wear down my favorite clothes and shoes to the point where they can't be mended anymore.
83. I don't like bananas unless they're fried and sprinkled with honey. Everything else is a no-can-do.
84. I still have childish fantasies where I become best friends with some celebrity. And I kind of believe in them. Hey, anything can happen!
85. I have a strange obsession with Iceland since I was fourteen or so. I want to go there someday.
86. I don't have a nickname. Never have. My real name doesn't make for a good nickname.
87. I don't mind doing the laundry or the dishes at all.
88. I love IKEA.
89. Then again, who doesn't?
90. When I saw 'Martha Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence' I was alone in the cinema. It was a hot summer afternoon and apparently nobody else wanted to see an independent British movie in the original language with subtitles. Peasants.
91. I burned all my diaries a few years ago. It was about the most radical thing I have ever done.
92. Jane Austen's books always surprise me.
93. I'm very good at reading maps and giving driving instructions.
94. Yet I always confuse left and right.
95. I never had my ears pierced. I'm thinking about it from time to time, though.
96. I love wearing skirts and dresses. I'm really girly that way.
97. My mom was 19 when I was born. I wasn't exactly planned.
98. The story of my birth scares the shit out of me. I always feel sorry for my mom and kind of responsible.
99. I am an only child. Go figure.
100. Ah, what the hell. My real name is Anne.

I Am THAT Screwed Up!

You see this yoghurt?

It's vanilla yoghurt with little brown and white chocolate balls.

Yeah. I eat the brown balls first. And they're small, really.

Task: Guess how long it takes me to eat one fricking yoghurt.


Bonus task: Guess how long it takes me to eat a tangerine. Yeah. Exactly.

Thursday's Child and the Unhatched Eggs

There was a reason why I wrote this post.

The reason is an incident I'm currently not sure how I will deal with, but that again reassured me that I must be one of the world's luckiest people.

As you may or may not know I recently finished my training. Also, as you may or may not know we won't be able to work at the company where we worked as trainees, but they let us stay for three month at full pay to give us some time to find a new job. Also, as you may or may not know, the boyfriend has been unemployed for about two years now, although he is constantly applying for jobs all over the country and has a great resume and references. Also, as you may or may not know the official number of unemployed people in Germany just went over the 5 million mark.

Also, as you may or may not know, I might just be in the position where I have to worry about which job I would like to take.

I sent out one application.

One.

That was about two weeks ago. The reason why I didn't write about it before and still feel awkward about it now is that I'm kind of paranoid about talking about those things before I am sure about what's going to happen. I honestly believe that if I tell you that I think I'm going to get that job, they will call me tomorrow and tell me they chose someone else. But I'm working on overcoming that paranoia, so I'm telling you now, although nothing is for sure right now.

So, here's the story, as detailed as I'm able to at five minutes before midnight.

(So, who else of you loves Paolo Conte? Because I really do. That has nothing to do with the rest of the story, but I love Paolo Conte. Deeply.)

I applied for the job as a software engineer/designer at a company in the healthcare/pharma business. The ad said that they were looking for someone to start in February and I applied in about two weeks ago.
One week after I had sent the application I got the call. They wanted to invite me to a job interview, scheduled to take place a week later. I honestly couldn't believe it. I mean, my profile fit, but still.

The job interview went well. It was a little bit chaotic and I could see already that taking that job would include working a lot, but I liked the tasks and the fact that they had a lot of international contacts. Also, I'm not a very big fan of the company I currently work at.

Because of my paranoia I didn't even tell Andreas I had a job interview until the minute I came out the door and called him. I even was a little pissed because the boyfriend had told my mom I had a job interview. I don't know what it is, but somehow I don't want the cheering up and crossing fingers. I will spill it all out after, but I don't like to talk about it before.

The next week we tried to get more information about whether there is chance we can stay at our company longer than the three month. There's this one guy both Andreas and I worked for during our training and he would like us to work for a big project, but he needs one of the managers to give his approval. At the most we could stay for another two years, but nothing is settled yet.
We met with the guy on Wednesday and basically what he told us was how much he wanted to have us work for the project and that he will do everything to get us to stay as long as possible. He also told us that up to now he hasn't heard anything from the manager on this subject. Maybe I'm just picky, but I consider a contract a really fine thing.

The same afternoon my boss told me he wanted to talk to me and it turns out that there's another team where I could work with the option that I could stay longer. Again, nothing is definite and he has to talk to one of the managers first.

Now, today I get the call from the other company and from what I can tell they already decided that I will be the one for them. At least that's the feeling I got. He told me how much I would earn and that he would like to meet with me again next week with one of the HR guys present to discuss the details. He didn't say anything about a second job interview or something, so I can only guess that they have already decided.

Now, what the hell am I going to do?

I kind of hoped that the other company wouldn't call me before next week so that maybe things at my company would be clearer and I would know what I can expect there.
Now everything's mixed up and I am confused.

Here are the pros and cons (and then I will go to bed).

My company (that means the one I currently work at):
On the pro-side they pay more (at least slightly), I know pretty much what I can expect and how things are organized, I know a few people and Andreas works there and I'm pretty sure that the work wouldn't be too exhausting. Also, I know that the company isn't likely to go bankrupt in the near future.
The not-so-good things are that I would be doing a lot of host-programming, mostly COBOL and aside from being not too exhausting it can also be quite tedious. I also don't like my company too much, so I wouldn't exactly mind a change of scenery. And I would only get a fixed-term contract.

Apart from that I don't even know whether I'm going to get a fixed-term contract that extends the three months they promised us. They just told me the chances are good, I haven't seen a friggin' contract yet.

The other company:
On the pro-side the work would be more interesting. I would be able to go a little bit back to internet design and these things. As far as I can tell I would also learn a lot and be able to use my foreign language skills (they told me that part of their decision was based on the fact that I speak French and they need someone who does). And as I said before I wouldn't mind a change.
On the con-side I know near to nothing about this company. It's also a small company and I'm not really a small company gal. I'm not good with the whole 'we-are-one-big-team-and-we-all-like-each-other' attitude, and I'm not sure whether this kind of attitude or one of its variants is carefully maintained. They pay a little less, but that's not really what I worry about. It's still enough. What I'm worried about the most is the fact that during the so-called 'Probezeit' they can fire me anytime they want and I don't know enough about the company and the probability that it's going bankrupt anytime soon.

You can sum it up that way: My company gives me a lot of safety (if I get a fixed-term contract that extends the three months), but I'm not thrilled about the work I would have to do. The other company offers an interesting workfield, but I don't really know what I'll be getting into. So it's fun against safety. A little bit heart agains head. And I like both.

I don't know yet what to do. I will have to wait until next week anyway. I need a contract to sign and I may just decide that whoever gives me a contract first will win.

Thinking in Blog

This blog has really become a part of my life. I can tell, because every so often something happens and I find myself thinking: 'I can't wait to get to write about that.'

That also resembles the way my blog changed over the months since I started it in October. At the beginning it was mostly an online diary. I would write an entry a day (not even every day) about what I had done that or the other day. I wrote long posts that included everything that came into my mind.

Now I think my blog resembles more a notebook or something like that. It's not that much a diary then it is a collection of thoughts, experiences and events. Most days I write several entries about different things, things that do not have a direct connection.

Finally I also find that I have certain threads in my blog. The marriage-thread or the tenant-thread are two examples and there are a few more.

All in all the way I think about my blog changed over the past few months. I guess it was bound to change from the beginning. When I started I had no idea how it would be. I didn't know how long I would stick with it and I certainly had no idea if anybody would ever read my blog. I also knew very few blogs myself. That all has changed rapidly during the last few months and hence, my blog has changed. I think it's a wild mixture of influences from other blogs, the feedback I get, all the cool and/or useful features I could find and also myself, of course.

I am now a person who thinks in blog from time to time. And I love when this happens: 'Ah, now there's something I can write about.'

Love and Marriage and How to Get There (Episode 6)

I called the registry office in Geldern today and they told me we have to send a short letter demanding a copy of the so-called 'Familienbuch' of the boyfriend's parents.

According to the nice lady we spoke to in Leverkusen that's all we need. The boyfriend already wrote the letter and we're going to send it today.

Yeah, the other thing. I lured him with money. I tried to find out how much money I'm going to take home once I have a real job and it turns out that I'd get about 300 to 400 Euro more every month if I was married.

I agree that it's a pretty unromantic way to think about it, but then again, guys... 300 Euro. Every month. Considering the fact that we're talking about getting married for nearly a year now, it's a pretty good reason to do it soon. It's not like we're flush with money or have ever been.

But again, that's surely not the reason I want to marry the boyfriend. The real reason is purely emotional and as romantic as it can be. But then again, if you knew what my bank account looked like for like the last five years, you'd understand why the idea of getting more money just for doing what I want to do anyway doesn't sound too bad to me.

Today I Met the Cookie Monster, a Fairy, a Cowgirl and a Lot of Soon-To-Be-Drunk People

(I get the feeling that the titles of my entries are getting too long.)

Now here are the six days of the year when I realize I'm living in the wrong part of the country.

I hate Karneval.

Karneval is also known as Fasching, but don't try to call it Fasching here. At least not if you like all your body parts intact. Also, and I wish I would be kidding, don't EVER shout 'Helau' in Cologne or 'Alaaf' in Düsseldorf, at least not if you cherish your life.

I admit that up to the age of about 17 I enjoyed Karneval in a careless sort of way. It was okay. I would attend the school's Karneval party on Weiberfastnacht and then maybe go see the parade with Natascha and bitch about old women snatching away the candy from little children. Or us.

The last time I remember I was dressed up as a Dutch girl, which was pretty much the most stupid costume I ever had, because I have brown hair and the wig that actually won't fall off my head has yet to be invented, but it was fun anyway.

The most intellectual costume I had was a few years before when Natascha and I decided that I would go as an 'N' and she would go as a 'D'. In short, we cut out big letters from cardboard and hung them from our necks. There is a whole pop-culture reference behind it, and a pun intended, but you'd have to speak German and know 'Schmidteinander' to get them, so I won't go into any details.

In the years that have passed I was able to grow some sweet and rewarding hatred against Karneval and I find that I'm not the only one. Every year my first impulse is to hide under a table and not come out until it's Ash Wednesday and everything is over. Friday to Sunday aren't so bad, but today, Monday and Tuesday are the worst days.

Now, Karneval is not necessarily a bad thing, although in my opinion it is. I just don't like it. I don't like to get drunk and be funny just because the rules say so. I don't want to get dressed up and listen to terrible music just because I am supposed to.

So, basically what I plan to do:
Hide under the table and not come out until it's safe again.

At least Monday is a holiday here.

PS: If you like to know anything else about Germany's strange customs, just ask. If you ask nice enough I might even buy a newspaper and post the pictures.

Love Via Snail Mail

Yesterday I came home and found a package lying on the steps of the stairs.

You will have to know that for whatever reason we have the tiniest mailboxes in the whole wide world. Everything that's even slightly bigger than a normal letter doesn't fit in, so it either sticks out for every stranger to steal it or the postman has to get inside and put it somewhere on the stairs.

The package came from Caitlin and inside were three mix CDs she made and sent me. I got the 'Bad Boyfriend'-mix and the 'Caitlin's Trip To Germany'-mix and another mix made especially for me.
Again, it's all ME, ME, ME!

They are so great. I can see now that we share a very similar taste for music since on every CD there are several tracks that I know and love.

Thanks again, Caitlin, I'm more than thrilled.

And, of course, there will be a mix in the make very soon. Or maybe two.

What Shall Jamie Read? - Update

The Dogs of Babel... Check.

The Eyre Affair... Working on it.

Wicked... On order.

Thanks to Brandon I ordered Wicked today. It was his favorite book of 2004, and since it was on my list I felt I had no choice but to go to amazon and secretly put it in my cart, then hurry to the check-out and be gone before anybody could see me and say: 'Hey, isn't there still a big fat minus preceding the numbers on your bank account?'

By the way, I made Andreas buy a copy of The Eyre Affair, too. I let him read the description of the back cover and then read a few quotes ('Yes, yes, and Midsummer Night's Dream with chainsaws.') to him and before he knew what he was doing he left the bookstore with a copy in his hands. He told me that I stink, but I can live with that. Spreading literary fun all over the place.

Also, I checked out Powell's 2005 Puddly Awards. Again, it's Brandon who sent me there. I don't know if I even have a chance to win since I am not a citizen of the US, but I sent in my vote anyway.
I voted for 'The Time-Traveler's Wife', because in many ways it was the book that got me most. I can't remember crying over a book like I did with this one.

I also took a look at the books who won the 2004 Puddly Award and I was amazed to see that of the top ten books I have read seven. Seven!
Then again, of the top 50 books I have read only 12, so I wondered: Do I have a great taste in books or am I just plain mainstream and read only what everybody else reads?

I would like to say great taste, but I'm not so sure.

Everybody Needs Some Change

I decided to change the design of my blog. I'm currently working on it, and the best I can say is that most of it works.

I couldn't get haloscan to work yet, but everything will be fine real soon.

Hope you like the new world.


Update: I'm done for today. Everything is working, so I'll work on the details tomorrow.

I Try To Take It As A Compliment, But It's Really Hard

I just don't know what to make of this.

When I came back from work the boyfriend met with me and we went to eat turkish fast food and did some grocery shopping afterwards. We had four items: milk, some instant pasta thing and two bottles of beer.


I then had to go through the following dialogue with the nice lady at the cashier:

She: Can I see your ID, please?

Me: Excuse me?

She: Your ID, please?

Me: My ID?

She: Yes.

Me: Because of what? The beers?

She: Yes, can I see it?

Me: I'm (fuckin') 24! (I didn't say fucking, but the tone pretty much included it.)

She: Yeah, I need to see it.

Me (showing the ID): Please go on.

She: We have to these days, you know.

Me: I understand. It's okay.


It really isn't.
For some reason I feel offended because she wanted to see my ID. I'm 24, for crying out loud. I can officially drink beer for more than six years now. I'm an adult. I'm a real long way from non-drinking age.

Now honestly, do I look like I could be under 18?
I took that picture about 10 minutes ago, so it shows pretty much what the nice lady at the grocery shop saw. It's not a great picture, but that's how I look right now.

Yes, I'm officially grown up.

For some reason, the boyfriend was even more pissed than I was. I mean, I tried to take the whole 'looking-younger-than-you-are' as a compliment, but I'm not old enough for that yet. At all.

Apart from that, the beers weren't even for me. They're for the boyfriend only. I don't even like beer.

I could drink it, though and it'd be fucking legal.

More Culture On Its Way

According to four mails I just got from dvdsoon.com my Wonderfalls DVDs have been shipped. According to my account on their website it's still in packaging.
I'm a little confused about the fact that they send me four emails with the same content, so I'm not really sure what to make of it.

What I know is that I really want the DVDs to arrive here as soon as possible.

So, I choose to believe that the emails are right and my account is wrong.

Ask Jamie: How Jamie Met The Boyfriend

Caitlin asked: My next getting to know you question was going to be about the meeting and falling in love of pi.

Let's make a long story short: University. Trip. Paris.

You want more? Okay, you shall get more...

I met the boyfriend the first time shortly after I started studying in fall 1999. That reminds me: Did I ever tell you what far-from-reality subjects I chose at university? I guess not. When I started I was a student at the departments for musicology, American language and literature and folklore studies.
Yeah.
When I quit I was a student at the departments for musicology, art history and sociology.
No wonder I never went for a degree.

The boyfriend was a student at the department for musicology (among others), so guess where we met.

Although I remember I liked him from the start and he says he did so, too, he prefers to start telling our story with the small and totally unimportant incident where I bitched at him.
Only I didn't really bitch at him. Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't mean to.

Additionally to being a student there he worked at the department for musicology. He was doing a weekend workshop for one of the classes I went to and one day when the class was over he asked me if I would like to come to the workshop on Saturday.

My response was: 'Yeah, like I'm going to spend two hours in the train on a Saturday just for that workshop.'

Maybe I bitched a little.

Nevertheless we seemed to like each other. Looking back I would even say that I was unnaturally attracted to him despite being in a relationship with someone who lived on the other side of the ocean.

Then came Paris. It was a student's weekend trip to the City of Love in late January 2000. I told the boyfriend that I would be going and he said he was thinking of going, too, but didn't know if he could make it.

When I was waiting outside the department on Friday afternoon I was - again unnaturally - happy to see that he indeed had decided to come to Paris.

From the moment we got into the car we were pretty much inseparable. I don't really know why or how, but we were. We took turns in driving (only I didn't drive) and the moment it was his turn to drive it was clear that I would be the front-seat passenger.

As for the trip, it was pretty much one of the best trips I ever had. Pure fun, great people and the unnatural tension going on between the boyfriend and me, it was just amazing.
The boyfriend and I, of course, were inseperable during the whole trip. Whenever the group splitted, we weren't. We saw Montmartre, went up the Tour Eiffel and to a big flea market in the north. Somehow our sticking together despite even knowing each other was never questioned.

Saturday evening was weird. We roamed through the streets drinking wine like stupid teenagers and I drank too much. As in way too much. Pretty much the last thing I remember is sitting in some café with the video to Paul Simon's Concert in the Park playing soundless in the background. See, Paul Simon I remember. I even know what concert it was. I can't really tell you, though, if it was really soundless, because my senses were pretty blurry already. Everything that happened between that and the moment the boyfriend brought me back to the youth hostel where I could puke heartily into the sink I know from what the boyfriend told me. I have snippets of memories, but they're not really nice and they're all pretty confusing.

But what could be a better sign of love than cleaning up the toilet in a restaurant after someone you hardly know has lost most of last week's meals in it?

(Needless to say, the last two paragraphs are not necessarily the parts of the story I am particularly proud of.)

While I was still in the bathroom, he had climbed up the ladder to my bed and when I came out I did so, too, and we ended up hugging and kissing.

Paris, after all, is the City of Love. It worked for us.

When we got back it got a little bit complicated. We were both in a relationship with someone else and we both had to figure out what we were going to do. All the time between January and May it was unclear what was going to happen with us, but in the end, we both ended what was before and have been together (and pretty much inseperable) ever since.

Unlike other couples we don't have a date. You could take the Paris trip as our date, but since it took us some time to finally decide what we were going to do, we weren't a 'real couple' until early summer.

But, do you really need a date? I think not.
The love makes up for all.


Question answered?

What Is It That My Mind Wants To Tell Me?

Time for some dream analyzing. If the following isn't enough for you, you can go check out Sarcomical's dream and analyze hers, too.

But mine first:

The night before last night I dreamt I was at the Cologne main station with the boyfriend. I was coming from work and we wanted to get home. For some reason he was already on a train and I was still hanging around the station.

(Side note: I notice that about 99% of what happens in my dreams doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. Why did he take the train without me? I have no idea. It was not a subject to discuss in my dream.)

So I looked at a clock and it was nearly 1 am. So I tried to figure out at what time approximately I would be home if I took the next train and I thought something like: 'Well, I would be home around 2 am... I have to get up at 6 am, so that gives me about 4 hours of sleep. Ah, what the heck, I'm just going back to work and stay there over night.'

Yeah, that's what I did in my dream. I went back to work to stay over night. What the fuck was wrong with my dream-me? One of my bosses was still there (just for the record, it's still in the middle of the night), but was getting ready to leave and asked me if I planned on leaving with him, too. I thought everything through again and then thought something like: 'At least I could sleep in my own bed with the boyfriend. Ah, what the heck, I'll just go home.'

But then somehow Andreas was there, too and he told me that he planned to stay over night as well. So at least I wouldn't be alone. He also said that he wanted to get Ben & Jerry's ice-cream, so that he would have something to do.

That's pretty much the end of my dream. There are other things I remember, but they're really blurry, so I won't bother to try to put them down in words. It would only get confusing.

I'm still strangely irritated by that dream. After all, I kind of like those dreams, because despite confusing me a lot they're also somewhat funny.

Now, go ahead and analyze me!