Back in Town

We're back. Back and exhausted. This whole day was just too much, so when we got back here we went right for the TV and both fell asleep. So, I'm not going to write a lot now, but save it for later when I'm more motivated. Until then, I have some pictures...


Before...


...and after


The happy bride

I wasn't able to take a lot of pictures, cause my camera has only an 8MB smartcard, so it only could save 24 pictures. I guess I had some high quality settings, because I think that you can at least take up to 36 pictures with it, but didn't have the motivation to check it out.

Current mood: A little more relaxed and grateful that Monday is a holiday. Oh, and hungry.
Listening to: The TV from the living room.

Sheep and Hearts

This will be the shortest blog so far, cause I'm really tired and I just long for my bed, but I couldn't wait to post this:


Sheep and Hearts

I'll gossip when I'm back on Saturday. Until then, have a great time!

Current mood: Exhausted and excited.
Listening to: Are you kidding me? I'm tired already.

Ready... Set... Limp!

I bought new shoes today for Friday. I didn't want to spend too much, but we found some nice ones that actually fit with the dress plus I can wear them to any regular work outfit, so hopefully it's money well spent. The bad news is I really have to get used to these shoes, so when we got home I put them on rightaway and limped through the apartment, enduring great pain. But I figured, that this would be the only way to get used to these shoes in time. Maybe it'll help and I won't look and walk like a complete idiot on Friday.

My mother will come by tomorrow morning with fruit cake. I totally forgot that Howard is here this week and we didn't have a chance to see him yet. But since it is his birthday on Sunday and we are invited we will get to see him at least once before he leaves for Australia again. So we will have a weekend full of social events. First the wedding, then Howie's birthday. At least Monday's a holiday, so I will get at least one day to relax. But who am I to say? I stayed home nearly all week. I really should be quiet.

I still can't figure out what I want to do. With my life that is... I went to university, then quit without any degree, then started the training which will be over in January with no real job prospect (at least that's what it seems to me). I really have to start applying, but I still don't have any good photographs and we haven't found time to take some so far. I hate the applying process here, it's just a waste of energy and money. Why do I need a photograph anyway? Nobody should choose applicants by the picture. It's mostly the "Do-they-know-the-rules"-game they are playing. And I know the rules, that's for sure. They just don't make any sense. But whining doesn't help finding a job. Applying helps, although I'm a little pessimist right now. I also don't know if I want to do what I've been trained for the last two and a half years. I mean, I like computers, I like programming, that's all fine. But at the moment I just don't know if that's what I want to do. Problem is, I have no official training in anything else.
Now here's my main problem. I'm interested in too many things. I love languages so much, that I think maybe I should become an interpreter or teach languages at school or just go abroad and take a simple job there. Then again I really like programming, so maybe I should work on getting a good job there and try to get really good at it. And then I think maybe I should do something creative, whatever that might be, maybe create webpages or try to get a job in the TV branch. Hell, I even thought about trying to become an actor or an air-traffic- controller. Or I could go back to university and try something else and stick with it. Question is: Do I want to earn a lot of money or do I prefer to just do what I want (which might mean go back to university), do I want to stay here or should we try the risk and go to another country? What the hell do I want? I thought about becoming a highschool teacher for English and Math but that might mean that I would have to spend some more years studying for a job that would restrict me in many ways (but might also be fun in many ways). I always wanted to go to another country (preferably English-speaking, but that's not a must - I even though about Finland) and live there but I don't know if I can ever get myself to actually do that. I'm afraid that I might regret my laziness. I'm 24 and I feel old and I whine about that on my blog. You don't need to tell me how pathetic that is, because believe me: I know.

Happy things:
The shoes fit with the dress and I found a cardigan that goes with it, so my outfit is complete. We made a CD collection complete with labels and inlays and it looks really good.
My Arrested Development DVD-Box arrived today and I didn't have to pay for customs.
I met a really old friend from elementary school today. She recognized me and called my name, which amazed me. Haven't I changed during the last 14 years? The funny thing was that I recognized her immediately when I saw her, but I was so stunned that I just thought that I was wrong. People really don't change that much, it seems.

Current mood: Better and not quite as whiny. I'm really excited about the wedding (obviously, since I talk about it on nearly every blog, but hey, those are my really good friends getting married, so let me be excited!)
Listening to: The sound of the TV from the living room, where I will head to NOW.

Finally Staying Home

I woke up today, called in sick and went to the doctor. I left at about 9:30 and came back two hours later or so. I actually had to wait for more than one and a half hours for three minutes of actual consultation. And I already knew what I have. It's a flu. Simple and basic flu. What else could it be? But I can officially stay home the full week now.

I met my mother this morning on my way. She told me she wanted to bake some fruit cake today and maybe bring some over, since Pi loved it so much. By the way, it was her who got me that beautiful dress for Friday (and next summer). Loved her for that. She found something that completely suited my taste. I guess we will get some pictures of the wedding that I can blog here, so you can all see how beautiful I looked. Yes, I know, it's not about me, it's about the bride and groom... you got me, I feel guilty. But this dress is just so damn beautiful.

This will only be a short blog today, since I want to spend some real quality-time on the couch watching Charmed. Yeah well, I'm sick. I don't want to think too much, so of all things I could do watching Charmed sounds like the perfect choice to me. (Besides sleeping maybe.)



PS: I just ordered Alias Season 2 on dvdsoon.com. Don't tell Pi. It was just 51.98 CAD, so I just had to click on "Add to Cart".

Current mood: I can stay home. At the moment, it's heaven to me.
Listening to: Murder on the Dancefloor by Sophie Ellis Bextor (playing on the radio in the kitchen, but I also have the CD)

My Head Hurts

...and I did not drink.
No, I'm still sick and it's actually getting worse. My body's temperature is going up and down just as it pleases, I'm sneezing and coughing, I have headaches... Bottom line: I'm not fine.
I went to the course today and left early again. The main reason I went there was that I had all these CDs for Andreas I knew he desperately waited for and apart from that he would be pissed if I didn't show up. Well, he's gonna be royally pissed when I won't shop up tomorrow. No way I'm going anywhere but to the doctor tomorrow. I have a wedding to go to on Friday and a beautiful dress to wear by the way. I need to stay in bed and get well in three days! So I got the "You can't leave me here alone"-speech from Andreas today and I just could not tell him that I would actually leave him alone for four whole days. I wish I could deal with it better, but I can't. I just can't call him on the whole thing, so I choose to keep my mouth shut and just sit it out.

I added Veronica Mars to my favorite-show-list this weekend. The fourth episode rocked and I'm hooked now. But that's just some minor thing.

We also got our present (well, part of it) for Tina and Torsten today. I ordered some vegetarian recipes written on small colorful slips of paper and rolled up just like lots. So if you don't know what to cook you just can draw a recipe. They come in a big preserving jar. When I first saw this is a magazine I knew it was the perfect gift for Tina. Let's hope she thinks so, too. We also plan to make a song compilation for them including some arrangement Pi made (we still need to record the singing which will sound great with my cracked sniffing voice) and I also wanted to bake some cookies. Apart from that I need new shoes although I might go with my regular pair, if I don't find anything fitting and cheap enough on time. Hell, I'm so excited.

Sneeze.


Current mood: Tired, sick, bitchy. The whole package. But I'm really a nice girl.
Listening to: Nothing again. I know.

Caught a Cold

I felt it coming and now it's finally happening. I'm officially ill. Not ill in a have-to-stay-in-bed-way, but more in a don't-feel-so-alright-and-need-even-more-sleep-than-usual-way. It's mostly a sore throat which hurts with every swallowing, which is one of the most unnerving not-serious illnesses I know. It just hurts the whole damn time, but it seems so unimportant that you don't dare to call in sick because of it. So I went to my course today in spite of all. Partly because I knew Andreas would be pissed if I didn't show up and partly because I'm gonna take a sick-leave next Friday for Tina and Torsten's wedding and I figured it might seem a little bit conspicuous would I call in sick two Fridays in a row. So I came, but left early. It's Friday, guys. I'm used to be home by noon. You can't take that away from me.

We ran into my father again. This time at the supermarket. I ran into him yesterday when I came home from the course and went to meet Pi at the bank and he asked us to come up to their place and have sushi with them, Renilda, Vera and Keisha. So we agreed and had a really nice evening. I was happy that everything went well and relaxed. I don't know if my father realized that there are topics I won't discuss with him and moreso I'd rather not even have mentioned or if it was just some lucky day, where we didn't need to talk about those things. Maybe he finally got it or maybe it was because Renilda and the girls were there, too. I don't really know.
I still feel more comfortable when there are other people around when we are with my parents. Should I feel guilty saying that? Cause I really can't. Right now, it's complicated. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be with my parents from time to time. I've just had enough of those spoiled evenings with those crappy discussions that nobody gets anything out of and which usually end with people getting hurt for nothing. So if I can reduce the risk of that happening I do so. And more people usually means less risk. Simple.
Wow, am I bitter. Pi and I have spent evenings discussing all this, and I'm really sick of it. It's just so fucking complicated and it's hurting and I just don't know what to do. So I just play along and pray that nothing bad will happen.

Still, yesterday was really nice and ended up with my mother dancing to "Time of my Life", because Dirty Dancing was, is and will always be her very favorite movie. Okay, I admit, I've seen and loved it, too, but not quite as often as she did.
And hello, how can anybody not think that Robbie Williams is the hottest guy in the world? He just is. This is not a matter of taste. He is. Period. End of discussion.

I just hope I won't become seriously sick this weekend. For one thing, although I would love to stay at home, I really think that this course next week might actually be of some use for my final exam. And I want to go to the wedding. I surely wouldn't want to miss that. Besides we would get to spend the night at Tina's parents and I just love her father. So, no way for me missing that. I really would like to get sick after my finals. With the pressure off I would have no objection to get some extra days off and stay home. But I don't think I will be that lucky. Not this time.

PS: No damage was done with the stolen bank cards. So we got off cheaply.

Current mood: I'm sick. No, really. No! Really!
Listening to: Again, nothing. What's up with me?

Why Does It Always Rain On Us?

Today I was in the mood to actually do something, especially since I would love to get something nice to wear at Tina and Torsten's wedding next Friday, so I asked Pi to come to Cologne and meet me after my course. I called him on my way to Neumarkt to check if he was really coming and about one minute after we hang up he called again to tell me his wallet was stolen. Why does this always happen to us, and especially him? It's not like we're not dealing with enough crap, but what did we actually do that the universe is punishing us again and again?

There wasn't much money in the wallet, nor were there too many important things. Luckily Pi had his ID and driver's license at home, so it was just the money, the cards for the banks and his health insurance card. We had the cards made invalid as soon as possible and I don't even want to how much the calls to the bank's service numbers from my cell are gonna cost me. But if nothing really bad happens, whoever stole the wallet won't be too happy about that and that's like the best thing I can say about this incident.

Naturally we both weren't in best mood after that, but we actually brought ourselves not to go home right away. Instead we walked all the way down to Saturn and Pi took his time to browse the CDs in the jazz department, while I wandered around and picked something from time to time. There was a really nice CD by Petra Haden & Bill Frisell, which I will add to my amazon wishlist. Very sweet and easy, a little bit like Lori Carson, very likeable.

After that we walked around and looked for a place to eat something. We finally found a nice place at the Eigelsteintor where Pi had spaghetti with pesto and I had salad with chicken. It was nice to sit there together and talk or listen to the incredibly dumb guy two tables away, who talked bullshit the whole time we were there. But these days, those incredibly dumb guys seem to follow me. They're all around me, especially that one guy in my course who sits next to me and talks extreme bullshit non-stop. I stopped being nice too him after approximately 10 minutes. His overwhelming dumbness wasn't that difficult to notice, so I really had no choice. I know I sound like some selfish arrogant bitch, but you don't have to listen to that bullshit. All. Day. Long. You might think so, but you really don't. This particular guy is so dumb that it hurts. Literally. So shut up. Please. You have no idea what I have to endure.

But back to our evening. After our pasta and salad Pi wanted to order some cheese cake and I had some Latte Machiatto with vanilla sirup and a lot of sugar in it. It was all really nice and sweet. We should do it more often, but usually after work or school I'm so happy to be home that I just want to lie on the couch and watch TV. I always forget what a great time we have when we actually go out and do something. Tonight it was.

Current mood: Pissed and happy at the same time.
Listening to: Nothing.

Thoughts on Blogs

Since I've created my own blog and trying hard not to let it die too soon, I've been spending some time browsing other people's blogs, marvelling. This is a strange world out there. It's like that No Doubt song 'Different People'; ' So many different people. So many different ways. For better or for worse, different people'.
I've seen blogs that I had no interest in at all. I knew right away that it was nothing I was looking for. Then I've seen blogs that had something about them that made me follow them. Just a few, but those really amaze me.
It's a strange feeling, reading blogs. It's like snooping around in other people's lives, kind of like stalking even, but legally, not meaning any harm. Do they really want me to read what they've written? Do I really want others to read? I've been thinking about contacting some of these people sometime. Maybe I will. Reading their blog makes me feel like I'm missing something about them and their life. Something I may be able to reach just through direct contact.

Current mood: Not quite as thoughtful and/or sentimental as my entry might suggest. Smiling actually.
Listening to: Still True by Lori Carson, my idol.

A Weekend Full of Nothing

Man, am I lazy. I spent the whole weekend catching up on TV shows. No, I'm not kidding. I really did. And yes, I know it's pathetic. No need to tell me. But then again, I made some progress regarding Alias and Dead Like Me. I haven't been able to watch the new episodes from Joan of Arcadia and Smallville yet, but we did watch the latest Lost and loved it again. What a great show! To everybody who doesn't know Lost yet. Boy, are you missing something.

Enough on that pathetic part of my life. More of the other pathetic things. And I'm telling this just because I want to prove that I'm incredibly honest on this blog. So it was my idea that we order in tonight and I dared to order that big chicken salad which costs way too much already and when it arrives the first thing I do is let the little box with the dressing fall down and spill out and ruin our entire hallway. Great me. Actually now I think it was the delivery boy's fault because he put the box on top of the salad and I didn't realize until after he was gone that the top of the salad was in no way able to balance the box with the dressing, but of course I already told him that it was completely my fault instead of telling him to get the hell back to the pizza place and get me a new box of dressing. NOW! So the basic routine was: Pi getting angry because of the mess and him having to clean it up because I suck major at cleaning anything up, me having a breakdown and losing my appetite, Pi getting pissed again because once most of the mess was cleaned his gyros had gone cold and me feeling responsible for everything and therefore really bad. But now everything's fine again.

So, right now I'm at my computer burning CDs for Andreas and me, so he will get the whole package tomorrow and hopefully be satisfied for the next two or three days. For the next two weeks we're having our preparation seminar for the final written exams. I'm not too sure what to think of it yet. I guess it either will be a great help or it will completely suck. It's usually one of those two options. Let's hope it won't be the latter. After that four weeks of school, then back at work for two weeks and then I'm gone for three weeks. I will stay home, watch TV and play computer games. Okay? Got it? I want no human contact besides Pi and occasional phone calls. I want peace. Oh and for the most unlikely event that someone from the US reads my blog. I usually have nothing good to say about Germany, but here's something: 30 days of vacation a year. Okay, I'm shutting up now.

As for this wasted weekend. It's nearly over. I'm going to scoop up some Ben & Jerry's now and then go watch some more Alias with Pi. And cuddle. I know: Awwwww. And be happy. And hate myself for being such a lazy bitch. At least I know my flaws.

Current mode: It's all been said.
Listening to: Some political talkshow coming from the living room. Music, none.

So, tomorrow's Friday, huh? Damnit!

I'm totally wasted. We just got back from my parents where we had a nice evening with food and wine and my family and I feel like I'm really really drunk. Which means that I probably made a fool of myself talking to my cousin's friend from Orlando without noticing it at all. And she's most certainly too polite to admit it. Nice. Well done.

Anyways, we had mussels and fish and salad and potatos and everything. As someone who still refuses to eat mussels I really enjoyed the salad and the fish, but I think Pi was all over the mussels, especially since my mother prepared them with two different sauces. The evening went very well considering the awkward relationship I have with my parents these days. But that might also be because Pi and I spent most of the evening talking to other people. I mostly stuck to Keisha, my cousin's friend, and if she doesn't think of me as the most extroverted self-absorbed girl she ever met, she's too nice to be true. I really enjoyed talking to her though, but I would have asked smarter questions if I didn't have about half a bottle of wine in me by then. She's only 17 (man, am I old), just finished high school and is starting fashion school in Florence next January. I am so envious. Not because of fashion school, but hey, this girl is young and already on her own in a foreign country. I was 19 when I went to New York and that was only for three month. But then again I was 19 when I moved out and I know people my age who still live at home. Considering this I don't feel that bad.

Everyone complimented on my new hairstyle and for good reason. I love it! I love my hairdresser! This is actually the first hairdresser I really have full confidence in. He did such a great job with my hair, I just have to love him for that. Hairdresser interlude over. I can't believe I finally turned into this girl who loves shoes and clothes so much that every visit to a good clothing and/or shoe store leaves me depressed because I just know I don't have the money.

Today at work was just awful. Awful in the sense that both Andreas and I kept reminding each other how desperately we needed the weekend, how terribly demotivated we were and even more terribly tired. And I had to stay there until 4:30. Right now I just want my training to be done and over with. I need to get out of this company fast. It's so depressing and I don't want to become one of these people. The one good thing about today's work was that I got to listen to Stina Nordenstam's new album over and over again and it got better each time. I might write something about it for my website, but right now I'm just enjoying it as good as I can.

Current mood: oooooh, wasted
Listening to: I'm Staring Out The World by Stina Nordenstam (because I fell in love with it today)

Same day... later

Home is so much better. Pi is in the living room watching TV and I find some time to write before we watch one more episode of Alias on DVD. Pi commented on this show to be something like James Bond light and since I know what he meant I agree. Bottom line is we both like it and need to watch more.
I got two packages today so I'm really happy. After a long time waiting I finally can call Katell Keineg's "High July" my own alongside with the newest Stina Nordenstam record and a copy of Thackeray's "Vanity Fair". I was running out of train lecture, so it was definitely time.
There are all those things piling up and my mental to-do-list gets longer and longer. Basically they're just unimportant stuff like "play Spellforce", "watch Charmed" (yea, I know) and so on, but there are also some slightly more important things I need to do. Like "update your homepage" or "study". I definitely need to study. Andreas and I looked at the final trainee exams from the last two years and admit we are both pretty ignorant so far and will fail with honor if we don't do anything about it. Hey, what do I know about "Service Level Agreements" or optical fibers. And why should I?
As for my homepage, I need to update it with the new version I worked on at work. I finally decided to use frames because it makes everything a hell of a lot easier. It would also be nice if I finally managed to really write something for my site, since that was the original thought behind it.

Current mood: As long as I'm not thinking about work I'm fine.
Listening to: Captain (Steal This Riff) by Katell Keineg, because she's it.

Welcome to happiness!

No really. I am way too bored. I am way, waaaaay too bored. I am bored enough to start a blog. Not that I don't like blogs. Cause I do. I just never thought I would start one of my own. But I am so bored that I did right now.

So welcome to my blog! I am very happy to introduce you to my screwed-up world of TV mania, really good music, yummy things in my kitchen, a wonderful boyfriend and occasional boredom. That's just me. Hope you'll like it. Go ahead. Feel like home.

So, have one happy day, you. And don't get killed.

Jamie

Current mood: Not so bored anymore, but anxious to get home (where the good things are).
Listening to: She's So High by Tal Bachman (for no special reason)

Words Absorbed

Here's my very incomplete reading list, meaning books I have read. Though I think I might get it together from 2005 on everything before is destined to be incomplete and not in the right chronological order.

Read in 2005

Stephen King: The Waste Lands (Dark Tower III)
Jane Austen: Emma
Stephen King: The Drawing of the Three (Dark Tower II)
Mitch Albom: The Five People You Meet in Heaven
Stephen King: The Gunslinger (Dark Tower I)
Tanuja Desai Hidier: Born Confused
Charlotte Bronte: Jane Eyre
Sarah Waters: Fingersmith
Laurell K. Hamilton: Guilty Pleasures
Christopher Paolini: Eragon
Christopher Brookmyre: Quite Ugly One Morning
William Makepeace Thackeray: Vanity Fair
L. Frank Baum: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Gregory Maguire: Wicked: The Times and Life of the Wicked Witch of the West
Frank Schätzing: Der Schwarm
Jasper Fforde: The Eyre Affair
Carolyn Parkhurst: The Dogs of Babel
David Guterson: Our Lady of the Forest
Judith Hermann: Summerhouse, Later (in German)


Read in 2004

Marlen Haushofer: Die Wand
Audrey Niffenegger: The Time-Traveler's Wife
Augusten Burroughs: Running With Scissors
Matt Ruff: Set This House in Order
J.M. Barrie: Peter Pan
Russ Rymer: Genie. A Scientific Tragedy
Angela Carter: The Magic Toyshop
Kate Chopin: Awakening
J.M. Coetzee: Disgrace
Mark Haddon: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Steven Pinker: The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language
Louis Sachar: Holes
Dan Brown: Digital Fortress
Donald A. Norman: The Design of Everyday Things
Tracy Chevalier: Girl With a Pearl Earring
Dan Brown: The Da Vinci Code


Read in 2003 according to my amazon orders and vague memories

Brenda Maddox: Rosalind Franklin: The Dark Lady of DNA
Val McDermid: A Place of Execution (in German)
Luther Blissett: Q (in German)
Ian McEvan: Atonement
Jonathan Franzen: The Corrections
Simon Winchester: The Map That Changed the World
James D. Watson: The Double Helix
Bill Bryson: A Short History of Nearly Everything
Yann Martel: Life of Pi
Jeffrey Eugenides: Middlesex
Alice Sebold: The Lovely Bones
Joanne K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Thisbe Nissen: The Good People of New York
Carol Shields: Unless